(Closed) More on rings…Unconventional ones…

posted 7 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
593 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Hmm. Do they not understand it’s the same exact stone minus environmental/ethical costs? I think if you’re already saying it’s lab grown, you may as well take the extra quick step to explain what that means to the uninformed. You can keep it light–a little yay, science! Just because you’re explaining something doesn’t mean you are lecturing 🙂

Post # 4
Member
652 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

My ring is more conventional–but I have to say that I wanted a very unconventional e-ring.  FI insisted that I get a more conventional engagement ring bc he didn’t want people to think he was “cheap,” his words not mine.  We went the route of conflict free as a compromise, and I get the feeling that your diamond being conflict free is one of the reasons you like your ring.   When I tell people that my ring is “conflict free” they often have the recoil-reaction you are talking about.  I try not to preach to them, but on the other hand, I realize me being proud of my conflict-free ring is no different than someone being proud of their hybrid car.  So to answer your question, I try to gloss over the looks, and I try to feel out a conversation before I get really into it.  If I get the sense that a person is going to feel offended by my choice, I don’t discuss it with them.  

Post # 5
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I have a sapphire ring, and it’s irritating when people give it the hairy eyeball just because it’s not a diamond.  (It has diamonds around it, dammit!)

Generally, I think the best response is either none at all, or feigned confusion as to why anyone would find it odd.  A little discomfort usually cues people into the fact that – hello! – they’re being rude.

Post # 6
Member
2589 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I tend to have more respect for those who are more concerned with the environment than appearances, to be honest. I hate that people recoil if it’s not a “real” diamond, or a diamond at all. It’s horribly unfair, but I think we can thank the diamond market for that, in part.

Post # 7
Member
593 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

@teaadntoast: Yes, but it is a lab created sapphire or pulled out of the ground? *Sits back and prepares to judge either way*

😉

Post # 8
Member
4480 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

I really think they just don’t understand what it is. Mr. S and I looked for a lab-grown diamond at first; there just wasn’t a lot of selection and pretty much no savings on a white diamond, so we ended up not going that route. I am practically positive they are thinking to themselves that it’s something less than a “real” diamond and that therefore it must be some sort of costume jewelry. Not that it makes a difference, really, but people are weird.

I would probably handle it by not mentioning anything about it. Not their business. Unless you feel that it’s important to tell people about your ethics, in which case, keep telling them, and try to keep your skin thick!

Post # 9
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

@Edina:  I haven’t a clue, to be honest. 

Actually, I wasn’t even aware that you could create stones in a lab, though that sounds like a fine idea in terms of evironmental costs, sourcing, etc.

Post # 11
Member
2589 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@JennyW1: What?! A wooden one? That’s pretty much the most amazing thing I’ve ever heard…I kind of want one now!

Post # 12
Member
181 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Honestly, I’d probably not tell people.  Not because I was ashamed, but I wouldn’t want to have to “defend” my position all the time.

Post # 13
Member
593 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

@teaadntoast: I was just teasing you. I have a lab created sapphire, so I know they do make them! I think the lab ones they can make all different colors whereas a natural sapphire is a dark blue. I could be wrong though, I’ll check it out.

Post # 14
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

@JennyW1:  Thank you!  (I took the picture down because it seemed like it was clogging up the thread.)

Post # 16
Member
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

My engagement and wedding rings are lab-grown blue diamonds. I think that most people don’t understand what that means, especially since they are not white. They see the blue and think they are non-diamond gemstones, and then hear “lab-grown” and start thinking of diamond stimulants like CZ. I did have one person tell me about my engagement ring, “Well, at least he didn’t spend much on it,” when the lab-grown diamonds actually cost more than mined white diamonds of the same size and quality would cost.

On the other hand, I do have some environmentally conscious/science nerd friends who do get what lab diamonds are, who wish they had one! When talking about my ring, I had a friend quickly defend the heirloom diamonds engagement ring that he got for his wife (“at least I didn’t harm the environment again for these!”).

I love my ring, though. I also enjoy talking to people about what it is made of, because I like educating people about lab-created diamonds!  

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