More romance, please :)

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
442 posts
Helper bee

In my relationship, we generally are both feeling the plateau at the same time and will talk about it and make plans together to do something fun. Would he be upset if you expressed that you want to have a little more fun together? It’s easier that way for sure, but I know some people dont like to hear that. 

Maybe you could suggest taking turns planning dates? Next weekend you could plan something and then the weekend aftyour could plan something. You could make sure to tell him you want it to be a little something special so it’s not just a movie or something. Or start saying things like, “wow, I would absolutely love to do ________” and maybe he will pick up on it. 

Post # 4
Member
163 posts
Blushing bee

@juliana192:  This is a really good idea! Do you have any ideas for special dates? I just wanna see what other people do. 

Post # 5
Member
164 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@pinkrose23:  I made my boyfriend a “Year of Dates” gift that you see all over pinterest.  Where you plan out a different date, one a month.  He gets to open them at the first of every month and y’all pick a date to do it.

I found this made him more inclined to plan extra dates and romantic things on his own. 🙂

Post # 6
Member
1574 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Tell him how you feel. My partner and I have talked about this, as well as what feels romantic for each of us. We plan at least one nice date a month. Once he’s done with school, we’ll probably do it more often (he works full time, school full time, and then clinicals on top of that). Some nights even if we just make dinner at home, we light some candles. It’s too warm now, but we have a beautiful fire place, so it’s easy for us to light a fire adn curl up near it. 

Post # 7
Member
3394 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@pinkrose23:  I have a big mouth. If I feel slighted I just say so. I start out in Cuteville. Like “I wish somebody would buy me flowers.” (insert pouty face) If he doesn’t get the hint I move on to Obvioustown ” I really love it when you’re extra affectionate, it makes me feel loved.” If he’s STILL being dense (which luckily is not too often) I head on into Bluntville “I’m feeling like you don’t care so much anymore and it’s really bothering me. I can only go by what you show me. Actions speak louder than words and your actions lately are making me feel like I’m not so important to you. It hurts me because I love you so much.” And that usually results in “I’m sorry my love, I’m gonna try harder to show you.” followed by many kisses and hugs! Yay!

Most of the time we just get into the hum-drum of things and he doesn’t even notice that he’s being less than stellar in the affection department. But also, you have to help him out cause guys can be, well, dense. So make sure you’re showing your love too.

Post # 8
Member
3394 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@Shamus11:  Good point. My FI is horrible at coming up with ideas too! So he usually sticks with one thing once he thinks I like it. If I get any more pink roses I’m gonna puke. lol. But I finally got him to understand that flowers for a girl don’t have to be roses every single time (plus they’re expensive). But as far as going out I always have to plan. Unless I want to take a walk by the river every single week for the rest of my life. lol.

Post # 9
Member
164 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@jadlnc:  Haha, rivers can be nice…

My fiance is awesome with flowers!  I’ve never gotten the same type of flower twice!

But he is pretty stuck in the rut with date planning.  It’s always dinner and a movie.  And he’s quite happy to eat at the same two restaurants for the rest of his life.  Our “Year of Dates” was nice because we got to do a lot of different things, even if I had to plan them.

Post # 10
Member
3394 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@Shamus11:  Yes! I’m so over dinner and a movie! I can’t remember the last time I saw a movie and didn’t immediately regret that we paid to see that waste of film. If we ever go to a new restaurant it’s my idea. And his two “go-to” places are Mexican (which I like, but not every other week) and a Chinese buffet. *sigh* Chinese buffets are only ever decent when they’re busy, which means Fri./Sat. night. And we both work every Fri. and Sat. I do not want old, lukewarm, crispy Chinese food! Arrgghh! 

FI is good with flowers too, but seriously, in 8 months I got 6 dozen light pink roses. I had to take him to the store and point out how many different types and colors of flowers there are. lol. He really thought roses were the best, so that’s what he should get, every single time, in the same color. Plus other kinds of flowers are cheaper and he’s a pretty frugal guy. He’s finally caught on though, I got these last week 🙂 So now I’ve gotten him to think about color, next step is mixing different types in one bouquet. lol Baby steps. But he is trying so I’m counting this as a WIN! 🙂

Post # 11
Member
164 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@jadlnc:  Haha, yep my FI’s two go-to restaurants are Pei Wei and Olive Garden.  At least I appreciate the food at both of those, but I like something different every now and then.

Those flowers are gorgeous!  These are the first flowers my fiance ever got me:

This gorgeous blend of orange and red lilies and roses and other flowers I’ve never even seen before!  He’s good. 🙂

But getting back the the topic for the OP, if I were in your shoes, I’d try and up the anty myself on being romantic, in the hopes that it would encourage him to reciprocate.  If that didn’t work, then I’d mention something, but not in an accusatory way.  Just something like, “It’s been a while since we’ve done anything fun/cutesy/romantic.  Do you want to plan something together?”

Post # 12
Member
3394 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@Shamus11:  Oh see, now that’s what I want him to pick! That’s a gorgeous bouquet!

 Yes, back to the OP

 

@pinkrose23:  Sorry for the thread jacking! Have you made any attempts to talk to your bf? 

Post # 15
Member
1107 posts
Bumble bee

Let him know that you want to be surprised. Not $2k weekend vacation surprised, but show up with your favorite candy at the door surprised. You don’t want him to write you novels, but a short text message to let you know he’s thinking of you once in a while is great. Let him know it’s NO PRESSURE – that’s the thing guys hate about romance…the pressure. They feel like they can’t live up to your wild expectations. Let him know that WHATEVER he does is great.

Post # 16
Member
3394 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@pinkrose23:  That happens sometimes. But I did notice with my FI if I’m less affectionate so is he. So keep trying. And talk to him, just be very gentle and not accusatory. 

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors