(Closed) More RSVP issues…. Kids at an Adult Only Reception

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: What would you do?
    Tell him she can't attend, just like everyone else. : (31 votes)
    72 %
    Tell him she can come to dinner but arrangments need to be made for her to leave afterwards. : (10 votes)
    23 %
    Just let it go... : (2 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    931 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    The problem is that he probably feels like you opened the door by allowing your sister’s kid to be there.

    Bottom line – you’ve got to talk to your uncle. If he’s near and dear to your heart, you should be able to tell him EXACTLY what you posted and he should understand.

    However, in the event that he goes a little crazy (as it seems to happen with normally rational people when the word “wedding” is involved) and refuses to come if he can’t bring her then you need to ask yourself if it will cause a family rift if you stand your ground (or maybe call in for parental-reinforcements).

    Good luck!

    Post # 5
    Member
    1184 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    you did kind of open up the door by allowing your two nieces to stay for at least some of the reception, but honestly it’s your wedding, you get to make the rules. call him and explain that there are a ton of people who wanted to bring their kids and you just can’t go making exceptions for a few people.

    Post # 6
    Member
    955 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    We are doing an adults only reception and I have already had netgative feedback form family. Sorry it is our decision as the Bride and Groom. I say talk to him and let him know only the children in the wedding will be there for a only short period of time. I say stick to your guns, but be prepared for him to be upset, or not come. For me if I make any exceptions it all gonna go out the window. Good Luck!

    Post # 7
    Member
    3709 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    @Jerseygirl23: Stand your ground. The other kids are included b/c they are IN the wedding party…and even THEY aren’t staying for the entire thing. Let him know that he needs to find a sitter.

    Post # 8
    Member
    13101 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    You are breaking your own rule!  IMO, you can’t say that it is an adults only reception if you have ANY kids there (whether they are your kids, in the wedding party, etc).  You can tell people that you don’t have space, unfortunately couldn’t include their kids, etc but you’ve now put yourself in a big mess saying adults only when it isn’t true.

    I think you should tell him she can come to dinner but arrangments need to be made for her to leave afterwards, just like the kids in the wedding party.

    Post # 11
    Member
    13101 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    @Jerseygirl23: I wouldn’t be offended if they were there and the bride had said they had limited space or something and couldn’t include my kids but I would be offended if I’d been told it was adults only when it was not.

    There is nothing wrong, IMO, with including some kids and not others.  Obviously you are closer to some kids than others.  But you can’t really say that there will be no kids and have kids there.  It’s rude to those people whose kids you haven’t included (no matter what valid reasons you have for not including them) because you’ve basically lied to them.

    Post # 12
    Member
    6394 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I think it’s different since you’re nieces are in the wedding! They shouldn’t be expected to leave after they walk down the aisle. I really don’t see it as you breaking your own rule. I would just tell your uncle the only reason they’re staying for awhile is because they are part of the wedding party.

    Post # 14
    Member
    3709 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    …and another thought….even if the invitation didn’t say “Adult Only”, it DID say +1…not +3, +4…or some other number. So essentially, the uncle is trying to increase the guestlist which is incredibly rude. So even without getting into the no kids discussion, you can simply tell your uncle that you only have space for those that were included in the invites and that they need to find a sitter.

    On a side note: it is so annoying when guests try to call around and circumvent the bride and groom’s wishes. He was probably planning on trying to bring the kids anyway…he was just looking for an excuse.

    Post # 15
    Member
    13101 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    @Jerseygirl23: I’m not calling you a liar, just saying you are lying – big difference.  And as I said, it isn’t rude to not include other kids.  I just see it as rude to give your other guests false reasons why their kids aren’t included.

    But what’s done is done and there is no way to change it now.  Just letting you know what I’d feel as a guest at your event.

    Post # 16
    Hostess
    16217 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    Chill out on the poor girl a little bit. Kids in the wedding party are the exception to the no kids rule!

    And to the OP, that’s the line you can use: that the only children at the reception are those in your wedding party.

    The topic ‘More RSVP issues…. Kids at an Adult Only Reception’ is closed to new replies.

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