Post # 1
Posting Anon since I’d hate for this to somehow link back to my DH but I’m looking for some advice / bee experience…
Ive read on some TTC boards that it’s common for some men to get umm, stagefright during BD because they have been pre-programmed to not want to get their SO’s pregnant for so long that it’s hard to over come that mentally for some…
My problem is that DH is practically impossible to satisfy and has been this way since we met… I’m to the point where I am jealous when people complain about BDing lasting only a few minutes haha…
Now that we are trying (not super actively), and obviously can’t make a baby without some essential ingredients I am kind of frustrated and not sure what to do… I know some people have resorted to post BD insemination, but I’m pretty sure DH wouldn’t go for that… And with all the “BD every 2-3 days” recommendations I feel left out, sinces it is basically a miracle to finish once a month!! Ugh!
Sorry for the rant… I feel better to atleast get it down in writing 🙂
Post # 3
Have you considered you or him doing a hand job prior to sex to get him closer to climax? Not super romantic, but it would get the job done. I’m sorry, I hope you guys find a solution!
Post # 4
callmeC is right, you might have to get some work done before to make him… you know… faster…
I’m not sure I know exactly what you mean the problem is… He lasts too long or can’t while trying?
Post # 5
You might also try working on it all day. In other words, send him sexy texts, leave him a sultry voicemail, etc. Be specific about what you want to do to him. Cook dinner in lingerie so he has to watch. By Tge time you finally do the deed the anticipation may help him get there a lot quicker.
Post # 6
Does he like other things, like porn or sensual massages or dances? Can you speed it along that way (I am assuming you mean it takes too long and often he doesnt finish)
Has he seen a doctor, because its possible it could be medical. Does he say what he needs to finish? Can he finish himself quickly, but not with you?
Post # 7
Mostly the only time I’m able to satisfy him is with A LOT of extra effort… Don’t get me wrong, he is totally worth it… But it’s hard to even want to start sometimes knowing all the work it’s going to take for just the small chance of success…Takes ALL the fun out of BD sometimes 🙁
He has trouble by himself, but is usually better at it than I am…
I wouldn’t even begin to know where to start with a doctor… It’s depressing
Post # 8
I’d probably say a white lie while ovulating that you’ve already passed your fertile days that month. As long as he’s on board with getting pregnant, you wouldn’t be tricking him into it, but it may take the pressure off.
Post # 9
ok, what does BD mean? hahah…
Post # 10
- Wedding: August 2012 - Historic Lougheed House
Is he circumsized / does he masturbate a lot? That can decrease sensitivity… which can prolong the time to finishing.
Post # 11
It sounds like he may have a medical or psych problem if he even has trouble masterbating. Would he be willing to go to a sex therapist, or could you go to one with him or alone to get advice?
Post # 12
@the_boss_of_you : it’s NOT just because we’re trying… It’s all the time, everytime
@mtnhoney: Baby Dance LOL… TTC terms are funny…
@Mrs.Eagle : Yes and Not more than normal. We tried for a while to abstane from solo time with no luck:(
@justelope you think a sex therapist would help? I honestly don’t even know what doctor to start with… I’d go… He probably would, but I know how embarrassing the issue is, hence the anon…
Post # 13
@AnonBee505: This could be either a medical or an emotional issue. I would test the medical first since frankly it is easier to deal with. He could be having chronic urinary tract infections and not know it. This could make it very difficult for him to be sensitive to touch or tp ejaculate. He could also have some kind of prostate issue which is holding him back. I am sure there are other possible medical reasons.
If it’s emotional, then it’s a bit harder. It might be difficult to get to the root of the issue without him being embarassed or shutting down. Maybe it’s as simple as he really wants something that he does not feel comfortable saying (example- a finger in him, a lot of guys don’t want to tell their SO this because they think it makes them “gay” which of course it doesn’t, but it’s hard for guys to say). Or there could also be some deeper issue which may require therapy. Or maybe he is just not quite sure he is ready for a baby just yet and that is holding him back.
Either way, I hope it works out for you two! You seem to be very patient and understanding which is exactly what he needs right now.