(Closed) More than just stagefright?

posted 6 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
Member
2866 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Have you considered you or him doing a hand job prior to sex to get him closer to climax? Not super romantic, but it would get the job done. I’m sorry, I hope you guys find a solution!

Post # 4
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

callmeC is right, you might have to get some work done before to make him… you know… faster…

I’m not sure I know exactly what you mean the problem is… He lasts too long or can’t while trying?

Post # 5
Member
1019 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

You might also try working on it all day. In other words, send him sexy texts, leave him a sultry voicemail, etc. Be specific about what you want to do to him. Cook dinner in lingerie so he has to watch. By Tge time you finally do the deed the anticipation may help him get there a lot quicker. 

Post # 6
Member
2622 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Does he like other things, like porn or sensual massages or dances? Can you speed it along that way (I am assuming you mean it takes too long and often he doesnt finish)

Has he seen a doctor, because its possible it could be medical. Does he say what he needs to finish? Can he finish himself quickly, but not with you?

Post # 8
Member
1186 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I’d probably say a white lie while ovulating that you’ve already passed your fertile days that month.  As long as he’s on board with getting pregnant, you wouldn’t be tricking him into it, but it may take the pressure off.

Post # 9
Member
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

ok, what does BD mean? hahah…

Post # 10
Bee
1433 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012 - Historic Lougheed House

Is he circumsized / does he masturbate a lot?  That can decrease sensitivity… which can prolong the time to finishing.  

Post # 11
Member
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

It sounds like he may have a medical or psych problem if he even has trouble masterbating.  Would he be willing to go to a sex therapist, or could you go to one with him or alone to get advice? 

Post # 13
Member
1779 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@AnonBee505:  This could be either a medical or an emotional issue.  I would test the medical first since frankly it is easier to deal with.  He could be having chronic urinary tract infections and not know it.  This could make it very difficult for him to be sensitive to touch or tp ejaculate.  He could also have some kind of prostate issue which is holding him back.  I am sure there are other possible medical reasons. 

If it’s emotional, then it’s a bit harder.  It might be difficult to get to the root of the issue without him being embarassed or shutting down.  Maybe it’s as simple as he really wants something that he does not feel comfortable saying (example- a finger in him, a lot of guys don’t want to tell their SO this because they think it makes them “gay” which of course it doesn’t, but it’s hard for guys to say).  Or there could also be some deeper issue which may require therapy. Or maybe he is just not quite sure he is ready for a baby just yet and that is holding him back.

Either way, I hope it works out for you two!  You seem to be very patient and understanding which is exactly what he needs right now. 

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