More updates lol

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
3557 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@MrsWe:  He was crying after the first session?…That doesn’t seem right. When I started therapy for anxiety and depression the entire first session was a taking of family history and a rehash of my personal mental history including what actually brought me in. There was no treatment. My second session was an explanation of my therapist’s diagnosis of me, an overview of the treatment plan, and signing paperwork to agree to the treatment plan. My treatment plan will actually start at my third appointment next week. I highly doubt anyone really gets therapy or makes a break through in their first appointment. Don’t let him manipulate you back into a realtionship.

Post # 4
Member
6964 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@MrsWe:  I think it’s great that he’s going to therapy, but he really needs to take the time to sort out his issues on his own. You also need time to heal. I think him calling you so much and showing up to your event is really unhealthy behavior. In your shoes, I’d ask him to give me space, not call, not show up… and just let us each work on our own needs for now. 

Post # 5
Member
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

A lot of people cry at their first session.  Going to a therapist is a big deal.  It doesn’t mean he had a breakthrough. 

Post # 6
Member
3637 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

@Eckle:  I don’t have any personal experience here, but couldn’t talking about family and personal history make someone emotional? Especially if they haven’t yet spoken out loud about what is wrong? 

Post # 7
Member
4576 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@MrsWe:  Just proceed with caution; I dont like that he showed up at your event when you wouldnt take his calls or texts. To me, that doesnt show anything romantic or sweet or heartfelt: it shows that he isnt really respecting your need for space, or that you didnt want to talk to him.

I dated a guy for about 2 years (he was 30ish) who was very wishy-washy on the subject a long-term committment, even saying a few times he couldnt “see himself marrying anyone.”…until I broke up with him.

Next thing you know, he’s telling me he’s in therapy, talking to a pastor, quit drinking, wanted to marry me, etc. Everything I would have wanted to hear.

I’m not saying your ex is being insincere, I just want you to be careful and make sure you arent being manipulated.

Post # 8
Member
3557 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@Everdeen:  When I mean family history its like ‘does anyone in your family have a history of X?’ I say so and so does on this side and then the therapist asked me questions to elaborate if this was the same or a different person from the person who had Y. It was pretty clinical for me. Given this guy’s description in OP’s post history I have my doubts that he actually thinks he’s done anything wrong or that he has any problems. He consistently shows that he does not care about OP’s needs and is continuing that behavior by refusing to give her space after their break up. She’s broken up with him many times and has gone back to him many times even though he clearly makes her unhappy. I support OP in leaving him and moving on with her life.

Post # 12
Member
496 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@MrsWe:  Girl you don’t have to agree to talk to him even if he shows up at another event. You could be meeting Mr. Right instead of talking to this guy who won’t shape up. I give this therapy thing a month tops. He’s manipulating you and he ruined this opportunity for you to enjoy an event and flirt with new hot guys. LOL Tell him to give you space and go have fun like you deserve. Hasn’t he sucked up enough of your time?

Post # 15
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m willing to be he’s never been to therapy, and that he’ll probably never go. Stalking you down at an event is creepy-ass behavior. I would stop talking to him, and block him on social media.

Post # 16
Member
3637 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

@Eckle:  I think that that is more than fair. 

OP, if he actually is getting help then that’s really good for him, but I would continue trying to cut him out of your life. This process is going to take a long time and given past actions, I don’t think he deserves you waiting around for him to get better (if he ever does).  

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