Post # 1
But something has really been weighing on me lately and I wanted your feedback. Even though this is embarrassing and shallow….
Fiance and I haven’t done an official guest list yet but got some names together so that we could estimate the size of the wedding for venues, etc. We came to about 110-115 and that included our family and friends of the family and our friends. Both of us are homebodies and he wasn’t social in high school and college (I was, but very self conscious about my weight and so I didn’t go to a whole lot of parties or joined social organizations). A lot of the venues I LOVE are automatically out since they’re too big for our size and a lot of the things I want for the wedding (5 tiered cake, big band, lots of tables with flowers), look ridiculous for the amount of guests we’ll wind up with. We have a good budget for the wedding, but I’m just at a place where I wish I had made more friends to have the amazing wedding I really want. I’m afraid the reception will just show how few people we know (I’ve known of smaller weddings, but because the bride and groom wanted them to be intimate and not invite everybody). Part of me wants to chuck the big reception dream and do something like a destination wedding with 15 or 20 people, so it won’t be so obvious we don’t have many friends. Am I silly? Is this normal? So many weddings here in TX have at least 200 people….thanks in advance guys.
Post # 3
You’re not silly, but you should stop worrying about it. No one will be thinking that you don’t have very many friends, they’ll just be enjoying themselves and being happy for your new marriage. A hundred or so people is a great size for a wedding – many more than that, and you won’t be able to have a conversation with everyone there, and people will just be a swarm around you.
We had fifty people at our wedding, which was exactly how we wanted it, but I don’t think we could have had many more than that if we’d tried anyhow, so I guess we’re less popular than you! (Our families are pretty spread out across the country and so most of our relatives couldn’t come).
Post # 4
I think that’s a wonderful number of guests for a wedding, and I also think you can do some very lovely decorating for that! Do what you want, it is your wedding-and don’t worry what people will think!! 🙂
Post # 5
Honestly…with all of the posts and angst about having to cut people from the guest list…consider yourself blessed and lucky to be able to invite ALL of your friends and loved ones to your big day. If you want to go all out with the 5 tiered cake…do it. Not all of the layers have to be REAL cake. You can do 5 tiers and have them substitute some of the layers with styrofoam….people do it all the time. You can use tables that seat 6 instead of 8 so that you can use more tables. Also, you will be able to afford to give your guests a top-notch experience b/c there are less people.
Post # 6
I don’t think you’re silly at all. If you WANT a destination wedding, go for it. IMO, it doesn’t matter if you have 10 people or 1,000 – you should surround yourselves with the people you care about (and who care about you). If you’re only going to do it once in your life, make sure you do what you want!
Post # 7
I think that everyone there will be so happy that they were allowed to spend such a special day with you that they will not think that there are missing people. I wish I could send you some of my guests!!
Post # 8
We only had 30 people come to our wedding. We don’t have a ton of friends so it was mostly family. I think of it as enjoying the wedding with people that you really care about, not dozens of friends that you maybe did a few things with but weren’t close with in school.
Post # 9
Don’t beat yourself up for not having many friends. When I was young, I had many friends, but there are very few that I still keep in touch with today. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become very selective with my circle of friends and, frankly, I prefer it that way.
I’d rather have a few true trustworthy friends at my wedding whom I can lean on during the ups and downs of a marriage, than many acquaintances who wouldn’t remember my wedding from the next.
Post # 10
I was just at a wedding last night that had approx. 110 people and I loved it! They had a live band, lots of flowers, a tiered cake (not 5 but whatev.) We had 120 at our wedding and it was PERFECT! I think that there are many positive things about “smaller” weddings (although I don’t think 100 plus is a small wedding). They feel more intimate etc. I think you are worrying too much. I’m sure your wedding will be beautiful!
Post # 11
Our guest list includes everyone we could possibly want to invite, includes everyone’s spouses, SOs and a plus 1 for all single guests and that barely comes out to be 100 people. I don’t think we’re unpopular, unloved or unsocial and I don’t think you are either! There’s nothing wrong with not having a ton of friends, it just means that the ones you have are very special to you.
Post # 12
- Wedding: March 2011 - Samuel Lynne Galleries and Marc Events
We are having about 120 or so at our (also TX) wedding, and I definitely wouldn’t consider myself unsocial! Your wedding is about you and your Fiance… it shouldn’t matter that there are bigger weddings out there!