Post # 1
After being nauseated by that ecard floating around that is along the lines of “While my friends are all planning their wedding I’m planning my career” I started thinking about my own life. Obviously its stupid because having a wedding doesn’t preclude you from having a successful career. But if I had to name the day I think will be the biggest most important day of my life it would be when I get my PhD over my wedding. Here’s why: Not much is going to change when I get married. We already live together, have been together 5+ years, have two fur-babies, and we are making no big life steps together directly after the wedding. Its like putting an amazing title to something awesome I’ve had for awhile. I feel bad for saying it but it is going to be a little anti-climactic. Meanwhile, working on this PhD is keeping me from feeling like a real adult. I live on a small stipend, with no freedom to leave a work situation I loathe without giving up years of work, tied to a geographical area until who knows when, with no real savings. I am dying to have a real job and to contribute to a real retirement account and have the freedom to leave the city if I want. Plus it will be the culmination of 20+ years of schooling and something I actually worked for. Not that relationships aren’t work, but at least relationships are the fun kind of work. Does anyone feel the same way or am I just crazy jaded?
Post # 3
@MsLabRat: Wedding is one day of your life. Marriage is more important.
I voted for undergraduate degree bc that took 4 years to achieve and got me where I am today… career wise.
Post # 4
Im still waiting for the most important day. I didnt attend my commencement and I never viewed my wedding as so epic. So I guess in my case stay tuned…
Post # 5
If I got a PhD I would probably put that over my wedding day too
I have a BA and MA but I don’t really consider those the best days of my life. My undergrad was very easy, at least for me, school comes very easily to me. It really wasn’t something I had to work insanely hard for. My MA was nice but I don’t use it so I actually look at it as almost a waste of money.
So if I went through with a PhD to get my dream job that would probably be the happiest day of my life too!
I liked my wedding day but I guess I don’t feel like it was the most important day of my life. I’m pregnant so I’m kind of imagining the day I give birth to my first as being maybe the biggest day in my life. It is definitely the most life-altering compared to the other 2….
Post # 6
I feel like the day I have my first child will be the most important day of my life. But that’s just me.
Post # 7
- Wedding: September 2013 - B&B
Hmmmm what an interesting question!!!
For the record no I don’t think you’re crazy! You already value your relationship so much, and for you the wedding day isn’t the precursor to taking all of those big steps. You two are already going through life together. But your Phd is going to make your dreams (which are probably his now too!) come true!! So no, I don’t think you’re crazy.
I only got my bachelor’s degree, and I am not using it. Granted, I am in a job now that I LOVE and I couldn’t have that job without having a degree of some kind. For me, I lean towards wedding day… although I am so proud to have graduated and it will help me acheive dreams all throughout my life, at the same time if I had NO job but my husband then I still consider myself rich 🙂 Jobs will come and go, careers may even come and go, but on our wedding day he and I made that promise for forever, and I am soooooooooo looking forward to all our adventures together.
Post # 8
I would think. The birth of my future children would be the most important, or maybe the day I met FI. That day we marry will be special, but not as crucial to my life
Post # 9
I’m not married quite yet, so I’m not sure, but being born was probably the MOST important day for me so far.
Post # 10
I’m with you. I never thought that the wedding day itself was hugely important. Don’t get me wrong, I wanted to get married… but the day itself… meh. It was stressful and I was so relieved when it was over. Even though we did nothing fancy, it still was stressful. I’m just glad we stuck to our guns and it wasn’t expensive.
Post # 11
- Wedding: September 2013 - B&B
I should also add I don’t have kids yet, but I’m willing to bet they might trump both haha.
Post # 12
I feel the same as you! Without a wedding we would continue on in the same relationship- the wedding didn’t really change anything. Without a wedding we would still be living together and happy.
Without a degree I wouldn’t have the job that I have and wouldn’t be able to pursue this career. I don’t know that graduation was the most important day of my life but I do think that a degree is more important than a wedding.
Post # 13
@MsLabRat: I voted wedding. Getting my degree didn’t really change my life The way a marriage will. I don’t feel like my degree was a huge accomplishment, but Rather 4 years of checking off lists. I am glad I went to college and got a gegree, but it wasn’t the highlight of my life.
I anticipate my future children’s birth will trump the wedding when the time comes.
Post # 14
Not to be super philosphical, but I thought these were just meaningless expressions. I might be different in that I just don’t think of “days” like that. I don’t see these culminations as a super big deal, I hope my most important day hasn’t passed yet lol. What would I have to look forward to?
Post # 15
I didn’t even consider the act of creating life in this. I think that might end up being more significant than both. I will add it to the poll!
Post # 16
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
It’s hard to choose between getting my PhD and having my daughter, but almost anyone can have a child and I worked for 11 years in college to get all the way through to a PhD. I think raising my child is way more important that having her. It’s my degree that set me on a path that makes me a happy person, a necessity to be a good mother. It’s my degree that got me a job that helps me provide for my child.