Weddingbee boards

Last night as FI & I were working on our seating chart, we were talking about previous weddings we've attended and some of the funny things that have happened. I was reminded of a particular cousin's wedding where another cousin's wife said the most inappropriate thing ever!

We'll call this cousin "Jude." Jude's father is my mother's brother. Our parents are of mixed ancestry, their mother was Irish and father was black and Native American. But with the exception of Jude and his brother, we consider ourselves a proud black family and that's that.

 Jude's mom was Italian and evidently her family was a bit racist. They demanded that my uncle cut ties with our family and "pass" and were adamant that no one know that Jude & his brother were anything other than Italian. Well that wasn't going to happen so they were raised by their Italian mom and her family after the divorce so they identify as white and for years have denied their black heritage (we don't care, we just accept them as family).

So we're at a family wedding a few years ago and Jude (surprisingly) attended and shockingly, brought his wife! None of us had ever met her before and she came off as a bit dodgy but hey, they're family, right?

So Jude's wife decided that it would be brilliant to take advantage of the open bar and get smashed. She drank like a fish and then danced suggestively until she could barely stand. We were all pretty entertained by it and felt a little bit sorry for her (surely she'd be embarrassed the next day) until...

In the middle of a quiet moment when the bride's father was about to present the couple with a gift and everyone was listening and looking... Jude's wife says loudly:

"Juuuuuuude! This is the best party ever! I've never had so much fun or danced so much in my life! Tell me again, how do you know all these *N-words*???"

Jude grabbed her and hurried her toward the exit as he replied, "They're my faaaaamily!!"

After a moment of silence and shock, we all lost it—we fell out laughing. It just seemed so fitting, you have to know Jude and his brother to understand why.

FI was not amused! He got this worried look on his face because they'll be attending our wedding in a couple of weeks. FI said to me, "Someone better keep an eye on her because if she says anything like that in front of my family, my family won't laugh and she might get cut! My family doesn't play!"

So okay, what other inappropriate or ridiculous moments can you recall from weddings you've attended or even your own?

@MissHoneyBun: I think I can translate for you:

• Honeybun's uncle cheated on his wife
• uncle then left his wife and married the mistress
• uncle lied to his mom and his daughter & said this was NOT the mistress he was marrying
• uncle's mom officiated at the cathedral wedding & his daughter was MOH

I think?

@JamaicaBride: Those were some expense wedding favors, eh?

@heatherrobyn: Hey date twin! And maybe you should think about hiring your dad out for weddings and parties because he sounds like a hoot!!

@Miss Tattoo: Honestly, there was really nothing else to do but laugh. What were we going to do, try to change the mind of a drunken racist? Anything other than laughing would've only served to embarrass Jude further. He still apologizes for it everytime we see him. The bright side though is that Jude now does come around more often and is FB friends with his cousins and has yet to "untag" himself in family photos! We talked about it a bit and he said that it made him realize that his wife's attitude and the area where they live are pretty racist and he didni't want his son to grow up that way. Sometimes it takes a moment like that to make you re-think things and it seems to have done that in a really good way for him. But...even though his son knows us now, his wife hasn't come around the family since the incident (that was the last big family wedding) so I'm awaiting her arrival at our wedding with bated breath!

I swear, my family could have it's own reality show because they are quite the bunch of characters!

@Talishazwi: Yeah, I think it was supposed to say "for a woman *who* didn't like her because she was a child."

pole dancing on the tent support poles. wow.

Funny moment:  I didn't notice until after we got the photos back (little preoccupied that day!), but one of my cousins apparently felt Very casual at our formal wedding. In a photo of the wedding and the guests from the back of the wedding site there is my cousin, t shirt and jeans, with the wedding program stuck in his back pocket. Hey, at least he took off the baseball cap! =-) Poor guy sticks out like a sore thumb, but it is so his personality! I smile every time I see that photo!

Innapropriate:  We had a cupcake tree with a top layer of a cake to cut for our ceremony. Having read horror stories on Weddingbee about this, we posted a sign asking guests not to take a piece cake until after the cake cutting ceremony/tradition. Some guests had to leave early, so they helped themselves to a piece of cake for the ride home. Apparently that overrode the whole idea of waiting until after the ceremony. So hubby and I get to the cake cutting and I'm like "Hey, where did (like 1/4) of it GO?!" Still peeved.

Here's one, My Mom went to a wedding a few months ago. Said the ceremony was beautiful and outside. THe problem, some of the guests decided they wanted to have social hour during the ceremony, peope litterally had to tell these "guests" to shut up! Wow, who talks thru a wedding ceremony?

@Ninna1125: wow that sucks

This is funny, not really inappropriate, but at my cousin's wedding in September they put a card on the table for each person saying they made a donation along with a small bag of M&Ms.  My grandmother (approaching 90) rolled up the donation card into a round, straw like shape and loaded it with an M&M and shot it at the person across the table from her.  Then, the other 50% of the table (my uncles) joined in on the festivities.  Thank goodness my table was on the other side of the dance floor!