- 7 years ago
- Wedding: December 2010
Last night as FI & I were working on our seating chart, we were talking about previous weddings we’ve attended and some of the funny things that have happened. I was reminded of a particular cousin’s wedding where another cousin’s wife said the most inappropriate thing ever!
We’ll call this cousin “Jude.” Jude’s father is my mother’s brother. Our parents are of mixed ancestry, their mother was Irish and father was black and Native American. But with the exception of Jude and his brother, we consider ourselves a proud black family and that’s that.
Jude’s mom was Italian and evidently her family was a bit racist. They demanded that my uncle cut ties with our family and “pass” and were adamant that no one know that Jude & his brother were anything other than Italian. Well that wasn’t going to happen so they were raised by their Italian mom and her family after the divorce so they identify as white and for years have denied their black heritage (we don’t care, we just accept them as family).
So we’re at a family wedding a few years ago and Jude (surprisingly) attended and shockingly, brought his wife! None of us had ever met her before and she came off as a bit dodgy but hey, they’re family, right?
So Jude’s wife decided that it would be brilliant to take advantage of the open bar and get smashed. She drank like a fish and then danced suggestively until she could barely stand. We were all pretty entertained by it and felt a little bit sorry for her (surely she’d be embarrassed the next day) until…
In the middle of a quiet moment when the bride’s father was about to present the couple with a gift and everyone was listening and looking… Jude’s wife says loudly:
“Juuuuuuude! This is the best party ever! I’ve never had so much fun or danced so much in my life! Tell me again, how do you know all these *N-words*???”
Jude grabbed her and hurried her toward the exit as he replied, “They’re my faaaaamily!!”
After a moment of silence and shock, we all lost it—we fell out laughing. It just seemed so fitting, you have to know Jude and his brother to understand why.
FI was not amused! He got this worried look on his face because they’ll be attending our wedding in a couple of weeks. FI said to me, “Someone better keep an eye on her because if she says anything like that in front of my family, my family won’t laugh and she might get cut! My family doesn’t play!”
So okay, what other inappropriate or ridiculous moments can you recall from weddings you’ve attended or even your own?