Post # 1
This weekend just gone, Fiance and I had FPIL up for help with our renovation works. When we were at dinner, we were chatting about the wedding when Future Mother-In-Law said that they are unsure how many of their families would travel to our wedding!
This is one of my biggest fears I suppose.
We live about 150 miles / 3-3.5 hours away from FI’s family, and are having our wedding where we live. I have family from even farther away (8 hour drive) who have said they wouldn’t miss it for the world. I must admit, when we were doing the guest list, we were wondering how many of these family members would make the journey. We have taken that into consideration with the planning and wanted to make the day as much about them coming to celebrate as anything – afternoon ceremony, live band and beautiful reception, photobooth, lantern send-off.
But now with my fears being aired (not confirmed, because we haven’t spoken to everyone yet), I’m getting paranoid about our already small (50 people) wedding being minute (30 people). I’m all up for an intimate wedding, but worry that the reception will be a little lacklustre and not have much atmosphere.
We think that not only is the travel the issue, but it’s finding accommodation up here for 1-2 nights. We suggested that groups rent a self-catered cottage/house which would be much cheaper than everyone having a hotel room.
I guess I wanted to know if any bees had receptions with 30 people which was still lively and fun? And when to ask if everyone would make the journey? – We need numbers for when we book the venue, it’ll affect the package price.
Post # 2
I recommend calling everyone and/or sending your RSVPs out early. We know that most of my SO’s family wouldn’t make it to the wedding unless we had it where we live (and his mom’s side lives), but 75% of our family is a day’s drive away. We’re choosing domestic destination to keep all numbers down since we’re paying for it 100% on our own and to keep only close family and friends (I have 60 people on my mom’s side alone). However, my SO is still worried even his mother, father, or older sister won’t show up… But disappointment from his immediate family is sadly something he expects and is pretty used to. But this is what we’re planning after we’re engaged:
- Calling everyone on our guest list when we get engaged to let them know the plan.
- Send Save-The-Date Cards 10 months prior.
- Send invitations 4 months prior and ask for RSVPs back 2 months prior to invite others who didn’t make the primary list but will still come (in case we run below our minimum).
Our primary guest list is 41, and we’re expecting 20 (also the minumum for the venue). Good luck!
Post # 3
damarajade: Thank you for your reply. I’m sorry to hear your FI’s expectations are low 🙁 We had a patch like that.
Well Fiance did say something really sweet when we were out: “well I’ll have 6, which are the most important” being his parents and brother, sister and their wife and husband. So I know he’ll be happy. It kinda makes me sad that I’ll have 20 and he’ll only have 6 worst case!
Post # 4
RhianfaHW: It’s funny, because he has such low expectations for his family, but he’s inviting many more friends than me 😉 I just have fewer close friends since I’ve been moving around a lot the past 6 years, and he’s known his friends forever. I’m thinking everything will even out, even if his family is being kind of sh**ty. I still have hope for them, though.
Post # 5
damarajade: We don’t have loads … many friends! HA!
Our guest list is exactly even numbers lol!
I really hope your FI’s family come good for you both, but your wedding will be gorgeous either way 😉
It kinda makes me want to say we’ll elope, or just have parents and siblings (and their +1s), but I can’t stand the thought of cutting out all of my family – they’ve been such an integral part of my life.