(Closed) Most stressful part of the engagement?

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
699 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Wow, you have a lot of stuff going on! Take a breather from planning/thinking about the wedding and plan a fun night with just you and your FI to try to get your mind off all that! Make a rule that you can’t talk about anything wedding related.

I have to say, though, I died laughing when you said your ring showed up in a cabbage! That is just so random and I am so happy you found it!

I see that your wedding is a month away… how are things with your FMIL? And your mom? Will your dad be walking you down the isle?

Good luck and know that you are not the only bride-to-be out there who is stressed (although you may be the only one who found their ring in a cabbage )

Post # 4
Member
45 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Oo, luckily cabbage stays around forever! Good thing you weren’t chopping a more transient veggie when you lost it…or else it may have ended up in the trash once the produce went bad!

Any sort of family issue (we all have at least one that comes to a head during the wedding process) always puts extra strain. Just remember that all you can do is ask the people who mean the most to you to be there that day, and if they decide to, that’s great. But what really matters is the bonds you form with your spouse that day. Everything else is secondary.

Family problems have definately been the most stressful. It seems everything comes out during major life events, like weddings and funerals. 

Post # 5
Member
596 posts
Busy bee

My experiences were similar to yours – dealing with family was the most difficult part of the engagement!  Both of us have divorced parents with varying levels of participation in our lives and it was difficult to manage all the expectations.  Luckily, the wedding is over now and because of the way we politely but firmly dealt with all the wedding snafus, they realize that there is only so much that they can do to "help with"/control/dictate our lives, especially when it is unsolicited.

Good luck!

Post # 6
Member
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I’m getting married the week before you so I feel as though I can sympathize with the timeline stuff.  First though, I’m wondering why stuff that happened months ago is still an unresolved stressor for you at this point.  Maybe you’re just reflecting on your engagement as you near the day and that’s the reason for bringing it up with the hive now? Anyway, I hope you’re not still really actively stressing about all of these and if you, then big hugs from me!

I was surprised that the family stuff was the most challenging, because honestly we have great relationships with our family.  I wouldn’t call it stressful though–I would call it exhausting! I basically ran out of steam about a week ago and proceeded to melt right down in from of my Mum about how tired I was of reviwing the guest list with my in-laws and re-explaining that no, their broker or neighbour or co-worker cannot be added to the guest list.  Or having same conversation for the 15th time with my FMIL about the two craft projects (out of like twenty) that I asked her to do for me.  It’s been an inordinate amount of communication and negotiation with our parents, and that in itself was tiring me out!

I think the last 90 days onward can usually have extreme highs (like an amazingly love-filled bridal shower) and extreme lows (like last minute costs, cancellations or fights).  I’m just trying to savour the highs and not let the lows get to me too much–in a few weeks I’ll be Mrs. West Coast Groom and those lows will just be part of the story. 

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