Mother being judged for only having one child? Article inside

posted 3 years ago in Parenting
Post # 3
Member
4441 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

@TattedNYBride:  Yes, it is something that far too many people have far too many opinions about, and that is what needs to change, not the amount of babies each couple has.  I love her for saying each and every reason she mentioned as they also apply to those of us that are CBC as she points out.

Post # 4
Member
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Oh please – everyone has everything to say about everyone.

No children…..you’re selfish

One child….it’s abuse.   A co-worker had the fucking BALLS to tell my mother that what she was doing was borderline abuse by having only one child.  As if I’m going to grow up in a horrible world without some sibling.

More than 3 children it’s neglect!  whatever

Post # 6
Member
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

My only issue with having one child is as follows:  

When you’re old and sick, and need someone to care for you, that is going to fall on one child and one child alone.  It’s a lot to handle, especially if the parent (with no siblings) is not married.  

Post # 7
Member
3777 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

DH and I are years away from TTC, and I already get judgemental comments when I say we only want one child.

“You have to have at least two.”

“That’s just mean to not give them siblings.”

“But won’t you be sad if it’s a boy/girl, and you don’t have one of the other gender?”

“They’ll be so lonely.”

I was an only child for 14 yrs (I was an oops baby) and I turned out just fine, thanks. I had a vivid imagination because I played alone a lot, I don’t have sharing issues, and my social skills are fine.

People need to butt out, especially when there isn’t a baby inside me yet!

 

Rant over.

Post # 8
Member
1463 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I chose to only have one child, and I’m glad I did.  My daughter and I have had many conversations regarding her lack of siblings, and she is happy being an only child.  What’s not to like; she got all my time, all my love, all my attention, and she never lacked for material goods.  It pains me that people are so judgmental. 

Post # 10
Member
3777 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@MrsTVLover:  I do agree with that somewhat. My mom was an only child and she had a hard time when her last living parent, my Grandma, passed away three years ago. Thankfully there were also nieces, nephews, cousins, friends to support her. Not to mention me – I did a lot too. I trust that my kid will build a good support system around themselves when that time comes.

 

Post # 11
Member
10384 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

People judge everybody for everything.

There are very well established pros and cons for having one vs two or more children, many of which are specific to a person’s personal circumstances. We’ll likely only have one kid, and I am ok with that, and that’s all that matters.

Post # 12
Member
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@littlemisst08:  Thanks.  My mom has been sick for over a year, and it has been really horrible for her.  It would be really helpful if she had some siblings or cousins or anyone else to help out with her care.  

Having said that, my husband and I are only planning for one. LOL

Post # 13
Member
3777 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@TattedNYBride:  I didn’t even have cousins my age (again, oops baby), or kids in my neighborhood! I had friends at school, that’s it. Still totally ok, not traumatized, and not so lonely I’m depressed.

Honestly, I don’t even remember wishing for siblings. I’ll have to ask my Mom about that.

Post # 14
Member
4513 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

A co-worker had the fucking BALLS to tell my mother that what she was doing was borderline abuse by having only one child.

@skippydarling:  What?! Umm… I’m an only child and in no way did I ever feel abused due to not having siblings. WTF?! Who has the nerve to say things like that?

As someone that is only planning to have one child I find this article to be disgusting. If someone dares to openly judge me then I will handle them accordingly. How ridiculous. Who cares how many children another person has (unless they have so many that they can’t afford to support them…)? As an only child my parents were able to do more for me than they could have if I had siblings. They took me traveling around the world with them throughout my childhood and were able to send me to almost any college of my choosing. I think its a total misconception that only children are lonely and unsocial. I never wished to have siblings, in fact I was always happy that I didn’t! Lol.

Post # 16
Member
10384 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

@MrsTVLover:  Having one or more kids is not a guarantee that they will take care of you, anyway. It’s up to us to save the money, buy the long term care insurance, make our own arrangements. It shouldn’t be our kid’s responsibility to do that for us.

 

@littlemisst08:  I totally agree with you! And having a sibling does not mean that you will get along, or have a happy relationship, or be close in adulthood. Having more than one kid doesn’t guarantee anything other than the fact that you have brought 2 lives into the world. The rest is kind of a crap shoot.

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