Mother Drama

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
6951 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@JessicaJupiter:  Well, she clearly just doesn’t think you’re ready, but the only way to show her you are is to react maturely.

However, I am really confused about the whole “announcing the date” thing. Generally, brides discuss the possible date with their parents at the very least because you need to know that it doesn’t conflict with anything else in family life. She might feel like you are leaving her out, which will only serve to reenforce her negative feelings. I can’t imagine living with my parents while planning a wedding and not discussing the details with them. 

Also, I don’t mean to pry into your finances, but you did mention you have “$1,000 just collecting dust”…. but a wedding with more than a few people will surely cost more than that, right? That might be part of the reason she’s wondering if you’re “just going to the courthouse”.

Meanwhile, why does she think he isn’t working when he is? Wouldn’t you tell your mom what your fiance does for a living? That seems like a really easy misconception to clear up. Same goes for living in a bigger place. Why can’t you just TELL her that’s what you plan to do? 

In short, I think a lot of the issues might be resolved if you were more open and honest with her. It seems that you two have a really odd way of communicating. 

Post # 6
1362 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley

Well some people just struggle being happy for others.  If she’s always been this way, I don’t think you should be surprised at it now.  I’d just quit sharing with her.  

Best of luck with your wedding planning!

Post # 7
3249 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@JessicaJupiter:  Seven words that will save your life:

“I am sorry you feel that way.”

Post # 8
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

How old are you/ your FI? My Mom was like that the first time I was engaged.

Post # 10
3661 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think I’d be more worried about why your mother doesn’t like him. Dealing with in-laws you don’t get along with is tough.

Post # 12
3249 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@JessicaJupiter:  She can expect whatever she wants.  She can expect unicorns to fly out of your butt; that doesn’t mean it will happen.

Post # 14
499 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

You’re in your early 20’s and been engaged twice and surprized your family isn’t reacting perfectly?

Not really sure that they are out of line, though they seem to be comming around.

Post # 16
615 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014


I absolutely knew my mom was going to be the EXACT same way through just her interactions with people I dated

I grew smarter, until my man had a job and we both graduated and there was a concrete offer letter and he’s making even more than both my parents combined, she couldn’t say ANYTHING

now she’s happy. Do you come from an asian background? It could be that. I’d be disowned if I wasn’t with someone who went to college, had a job, and was completely respectful.

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