Post # 1
I’ve never posted on any type of forum before. I decided to do this to get some outside opinions about the current situation I’m in.
Here’s my story….
I am 25 years old. My fiancee and I become engage on January 10, 2013 after six years of being together and living together for about 2 years. We are both very excited to guest married and have to set a date of April 27, 2014 in order to give ourselves plenty of time to save and plan our wedding.
On May 5, 2013 my mom sends me a picture of an engagement ring on her hand with no other text. I found this to be shocking because to my knowledge she did not have a current boyfriend. There was only a man I was able to meet once at her home when he came to pick her up at her house for a date, who she introduce as her friend.
My mom and her fiancee went to high school together about 16 years ago. My mom has been in constant contact with his sister over the 16 years, but only recently started communicating with him again since January this year.
The engagement occurred before my mother’s Fiance had met my younger brother who is 21 and lives one hour drive away from us.
After the shock of the engagement, my mom and her fiance have decided to set a wedding date of September 15, 2013. Which is 7 months prior to my own wedding. She sees know reason why she should wait and is currently planning a big elaborate wedding.
Before I give any more details or opinions I would love to hear what others think about my current situation. Feel free to asks questions to get more background if you like.
Post # 3
I think there is absolutely nothing to say but congratulations to your mum. What a lucky women to have found love again.
Post # 4
I don’t see the big deal. Why does she have to wait until your wedding to have hers?
Post # 5
I think it’s fine form a completely outside view. I can see why you’d be rather shocked and not know what to make of the situation though.
She may not have expressed how important this relationship was until she knew it would last. I’m just guessing here.
As far as her planning a big elaborate wedding, I think most would chalk that up to her and her FI being older and having more disposable income than someone who is 25, not that it’s always the case… but as far as worrying about it, that’s my opinion. I think it’s definitely far enough apart and everyone will have plenty of time to be happy for you both and not compare them.
Who knows, if you are close to your mother with luck you could share the exciting wedding planning stuff to some extent.
I do hope everything works out great for you both though!
Post # 6
I think you should be jumping for joy for your mom! She found love again! What a wonderful thing! Be supportive! Just like you want her to be supportive, or your friends! She’s not going to steal any thunder from you, it’s seven month not a day! You can maybe tell her “Mom, I wish you would’ve introduced us before, you know I just want you to be happy, but I’m really happy that you found love and I’m going to help you”
Post # 7
I dont see anything wrong with her getting married 7 MONTHS before you.
What I think is going on is that you are in shock like a PP said. You dont know him and didnt even know she was seriously dating someone. She also isnt having a long engagement. I would just try and get over it and be happy for her.
Post # 8
@kelzBA: 7 months is plenty of time between two weddings in the same family. Your mother is doing nothing wrong to you. She does appear to be rushing into marriage, but that’s her business.
Post # 9
I see no reason for her to wait either. What are your reasons?
Post # 10
I don’t see anything wrong with your mum getting married again 7 months before you. What a happy time for your family!
I think you and your brother should spend time getting to know your mum’s fiance. I understand this has all happened very quickly for you, so it’s a big shock, but this man will be family – turn it into a positive time and celebrate your mum’s new-found happiness!
Post # 11
- Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo
I do think she’s kind of rushing, and that it’s a shame that she got engaged before your brother could meet the fiance.
But it’s her life and if this is making her happy then you just need to try to support it ^^
In regards to the timing of the wedding, 7 months is plenty of time for two family weddings. Hope everything goes well for all of you!
Post # 12
@kelzBA: say congrats to your mom and help her plan her big day.
Post # 13
Comgrats to you both but I see no reason for her to wait.
I don’t think it’s anyone’s place to judge if she is rushing or not. Personally, if I or divorced and had kids, I wouldn’t introduce my children to a new man unless we were engaged. I’m not one for bringing men in and out of kids lives. You guys are older now so while it would be great of you get to know him and like him, it’s less important since you won’t be living with him and he won’t really be parenting you.
Post # 14
I can see why the engagement was a shock…but I fail to see the issue with her getting married 7 months before you. It’s not like she chose your actual day. You don’t get a whole year.
Post # 15
I can definitely see being upset by being blindsided by her engagement, but 7 months is more than enough time in between weddings.
Post # 16
The issue here is not her getting married 7 months before you. That is plenty of time between weddings. The issue here is her getting engaged when you didn’t even know she had a boyfriend. Talk this out with her.