Post # 1
Well shopping for my wedding dress my mother and I passed by bridesmaids dressses, I happen to mention I like one. She said that it wouldn’t look good on my one sister. I informed her that she wasn’t going to be a bridesmaid. This has ignited a lengthy feud between us. I have 2 sisters, neither of which I like or even really want at the wedding but figure I kinda have to because my parents would be very upset if I didn’t. My one sister I didn’t even talk to for almost 3 years. We are having a small wedding and we were only planning on having 2 maids and 2 groomsmen. My MOH is going to be my best friend of almost 20 years, no questions. The other person I want to have is a friend of a few years, but we are super close (we did basic training together, for any military you understand!) But my mother is insisting that my sisters should be bridesmaids. She almost seems hurt that I wont even consider it. First off I hate my sisters, second my FI doesn’t have enough close friends or family to have equal attendants, third I want to keep the bridal party small. The FI and I are paying for the wedding ourselves. Am I wrong to not want them and keep fighting with my mother? Should I just give in or stand my ground?
Post # 3
@captianflamingo: If you’re not close to your sisters, i would not include them. I wish i would have stood my ground when it came to deciding my wedding party, my parents took over, and what me and FI wanted to be 4 couples, turned into 9! I got over it, and am excited to have a bigger wedding party now, but there is starting to be issues with some of them with money and communication… it can really be a drag.
Post # 4
@captianflamingo: Stand your ground. If you and your sister don’t get along now, a wedding will not magically bring the family close together. Tell your mother you have made your decsion and it is closed. Avoid her phone calls for a while if you have to. YOur mother is more concerned with herself because people will come to her asking why your sisters were not in the party.
Remember your maids are responsible for your shower, bach party and keeping you sane. You need women who love and care for you to have your back.
Post # 5
i agree with pps.. stand your ground!
Post # 6
I agree with PP. Stand your ground and just keep explaining to your mom your reasons if she keeps harping on it. Tell her that you are extending an olive branch by including them as guests and that is all you can do right now. Good luck! Keep your chin up and keep smiling.
Post # 7
I also say to stand your ground. If you guys don’t speak and you don’t want them in the wedding, chances are they won’t want to be in the wedding either.
Post # 8
I say to stand your ground but I can also see why your mother wants your sisters to be in the wedding. Even though you all do not get along, it has to bother your mother a bit. She might be hoping that if you do include them in the wedding party, that you will all get along again and it will be this huge, happy, lifetime movie moment.
I would sit her downa and talk to gently. I wouldn’t get too upset sat her, she is just trying to fix things and do what she thinks is right.
Post # 9
Thanks guy!! I just wanted to make sure that I am not being a selfish bridezilla here.
@JM1217 I think that is exactly what she wants. And I can’t blame her for wanting her only 3 children to get alone.
I appreciate all the input. You guys are the best!!
Post # 10
I agree – you will be stressed enough without having to add to it. Stand strong. Good luck!
Post # 11
It is really important that you stand your ground. Don’t budge on this. BUT, you can give the sisters a special role in the wedding.
Bridesmaids should be friends of the bride, someone you trust in, have fun with, and ultimately want to remember standing there with you.
Maybe the sisters can do a joint “welcome to the family” speech? Or you can ask them to toast your parents/mom?