- 7 years ago
- Wedding: February 2012
I am hapily engaged to the love of my life, we are planning to get married in around a year and she understandibly wants a beautiful wedding. We will be paying for the whole thing ourselves with the exception of her mother buying her wedding dress. My fiance is Jewish (I am Cathlolic) and we will be raising our children Jewish (no problems there).
My fiance and her mother get along fine as long as they have space, with my fiance wanting to distance herself for her family while her mother tries to make them “one big happy family.” Understandibly her mom is using the wedding as a chance for them to “start fresh” to which my fiance just takes the approach of dealing with it and saying its normal for mom to be like that.
However, it is rapidly turning into her trying to control and manipulate every aspect of the planning. She rationalizes the overbearing, send 20 emails a day, in your face attitude by saying she’s jsut being a “Jewish mother” and will always tell it like she sees it.
I try to ignore most of it (as long as my fiance is happy i will ultimately be too) but in my family we aren’t blatently rude to each other and then rationalize it later. My fiance is excellent at telling her she’s overstepping her bounds and to back off, but after a day she’s back at it again. My fiance has said repeatedly she wants to deal with her mom and that I dont need to worry about it. My only reservation is that with a year out the constant onslaught of demanding advice eventually beat down her defenses and I and torn as to what to do….Overall the thing that bothers me the most is that she is always chiding my fiance thats its not her wedding but “ours” on one hand and then emailing over her agenda to us and teasing us about everything from our food selection to my friends and family.
Perhaps this is totally normal and I really do need to just back off, if so let me know I’d feel a ton better….other wise does anyone have any advice on things I can do that can to get get her to back off?