MOTHER-IN LAW FROM HELL!!!!

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 4
Member
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I had this problem with my ex husband.  I had to put my then MIL in her place.  The ex wouldn’t do it.  I’d complain to him about her and nothing happened.  He would complain to me about her and wouldn’t talk to her himself.  That was the dynamic they had/have.  I’m not the suffer silently type of gal so after I was fed up and realized he wasn’t going to stand up for me, I stood up for myself.  I made it clear to her that I am Queen Bee in my home and when it comes to my home, my children, my family etc. things were going to be my way.  I wasn’t disrespectful to her.  I respect my elders. I just told her when she was overstepping her bounds and what her actual role was as opposed to what she thought it should be.  Things were rough for a while.  I guess she wasn’t used to anyone standing up to her.  But she learned to respect me and my family and we eventually became good friends.

Post # 6
Member
955 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

You are not alone πŸ™‚

My MIL has always been an issue. We have been together 7 years and it got worse I would say the last year or so. It started when she would call me the ex-girlfriends name, saying it was nothing personal she was just use to her name. that was the first 2 years or so, along with other things. She is upset that we don’t live our lives the way she wants us to…aka we don’t have any kids yet. My husand mostly ignors her , he says its because it not worth trying to fight her cause she doesn’t listen. But when we got engaged he did start to push back a bit. And then it turned into she doesn’t like me cause I stole him away from her. I just let him know its not gonna fly with me anymore. I have no problem standing up for myself and him too. The whole engagement she was having issues, I invited her to things like my dress fittings and she didn’t show after she said she would come. The wedding was the last straw for me. She showed up late, and drunk. I was in the hotel lobby waiting to go out to the ceremony when she came up and said she invited hockey players to crash the reception, I had to tell her no 4 times before my sister stepped in. MIL got pissy and stormed off. She got mad and made a scene after the ceremony and family pics cause the photogs asked everyone to go to cocktail hour so we could get our pics done. Then she was a no show to cocktail hour (she was back at the hotel bar drinking). She showed up right before we were announced, but made sure to come over and start stuff with us first. All night she kept grabbing my husbands hand out of mine and then hug and hang on him and say “you still love me more than her right?” Then there were the bells she brought and constantly rang. Our mistake I guess to try and have a cute/funny RSVP that said we will be there with bells on. She left early too, whatever. And don’t get me started on her clothing choice for the wedding.

I took it all with a grain of salt, let it all go that day, but I still remember her trying to make one our happiest days together crappy. So all gloves are off now πŸ™‚

Post # 7
Member
5154 posts
Bee Keeper

you are def not alone.. I just posted this on a similar thread too πŸ™‚

Well here is my story.. my FMIL hates me because I have a kid. She has disowned her son because he refuses to break up with me..she yells and screams and rants to FI about how he is throwing his life away with me..(never mind that I had a kid young, held a job since I was 15, managed to double major in biochemistry and nuc physics in college.. go to  temple every other sunday… travel the world on my own dime..and chose to give up a career because my FI is in the military.. none of that matters) because I am just using him for his money! She has called me and texted on numerous occations telling me that I will never be part of her family and calling my daughter a bastard and saying I should have kept my legs closed. :-/ She is not (I am assuming) coming to our wedding and will not let FI’s dad or little brother come either. OH- and she stalks me. Looks for me on fb and found our wedding website somehow.. and found me on wedding bee! (this is a new alias.. until she finds this one too!).. She has threatened to slap me.. and ruined FI’s graduation because of her antics. eh-good thing I have tough skin!

Post # 10
Member
3257 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@pinkb: Oh gosh, this all really happened? That scares the hell out me because I can just picture my FMIL doing all of those things at our wedding. She royally sucks.

 

@[email protected]: The best advice I can give to you is to let HIM handle her. I know it sounds awful, but I refuse to pick up if she calls me and only communicate with her when I absolutely have to. Otherwise he is the one who deals with her. This is because she constantly cornered me and lied to and about me in the past. I just couldn’t deal with it anymore.

Post # 11
Member
570 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@[email protected]:

Oh my I was dating my husband for 7 years before he proposed. His mother was great we went shopping together got along well in my eyes.  IN 2008 when he proposed his immediate siblings and parents were a no show, mind you that I was unaware that my husband would propose (this was a wonderful surprise) my husband excused them stating that his dad worked and his mom had a church meet.  In 2010 I found out that his parents did not want him to get married to me especially his mother.  IN 2008 his family stopped talking to me no apparent reason to this day have they told me… She is the mother from hell now, tries to be assertive demanding when it comes to her son.   Says “Bea you make my son do things he is not suppose to” she is crazy lunatic is verbally abusive towards me when her son is not around. When I am alone with her my heart pounds. I have respected her to this day my upbringing was that respect your elders but I have never hated an individual like her. She makes my heart beat for all the wrong reasons, makes me cring, however she is cruel woman.  

I agree with [email protected]: I don’t talk with her or conversate with her. When she passes doesn’t say excuse me to me to other she does. I have more manners than her.   Is possesive and egocentric.   Takes conversations and mixes the meanings up to start arguments between family members.

I just found out recently through my husband that she has never like me to believe that I saw her as my mom all these 10 years. Now she is a stranger. A bad stranger that is.Laughing

Post # 12
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I have no solutions. Mine is crazy. We got along until we got engaged, and then she just went ape shit.

I havent spoken to her in an easy 3 months.

Post # 13
Member
570 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@mwitter80:

Sometimes God puts  obstacles in our  life…

CALLED  MoTHER IN LAWS Laughing

Post # 14
Member
955 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@[email protected]: Things are ok. I mostly just try and not talk to her when we are around her. My hubby doesn’t like me bringing up anything that happened at the wedding (he says that is just the way she is) so I try not to. I don’t like to bash her in front of him or to him cause I don’t want to put him in the middle and it is still his mom. I have to get better at this! I was doing good up until the last month or so. but we went to a cook out at their house last night and everthing was good. I didn’t say a word to her until we left, I said thank you and bye. πŸ™‚

@brideatbeach: yes unfortunatly it all happened πŸ™ And a few more things happened too. Honestly on our wedding day I pretty much instantly forgot right after most of it because I was worried about so many other things! But after we got back from our honeymoon my mom asked me a couple questions about stuff that happened that my sister had witnessed and told my mom about. She couldn’t believe it, nor did my sister while it was happening. My now SIL has asked MIL about some of it and she says she doesn’t remember doing most of it and didn’t see anything wrong with inviting people from the hotel…..and I know that would be cause she was wasted….but she claims to have only drank the ice tea.

Now her thing is she wants to know how much everything cost cause my parents paid for everything and she thinks they are rich. She didn’t even give us a congrats card! Her only son!! And she told us 2 weeks ago we are now to old to have kids cause my husband is now 32 going on 33, and that is when her father had her..??? whatever that means. And she made sure to tell me that if we have a little girl it is gonna be “hers”……(over my dead body!) I thought she said we were too old?

Post # 15
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I don’t deal with her, at all. My MIL (FIL’s FI) is awesome, and I get along with her very well.  Husband’s mother is an alcoholic, and I haven’t spoken to her in a year and a half. Hubs has only spoken to her once in that time, and doesn’t plan to anymore unless she wants help to get sober. Sometimes, you have to cut the cord and let them fend for themselves. Just because people are family does not mean you have to put up with their toxic behavior

Post # 16
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

 I will say though, she has never said anything bad about me. It was actually because of me that she saw her son more the first few years we were together. But her drinking is out of control, and we can no longer watch her kill herself. Its really sad, because I’m sure I would get along with her really well

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