Post # 1
I need some advice! My FMiL is starting to cause issues.. I’m not sure if I should be turning a blind eye to her behaviour or not.
Basically she has started staying with my fiancé a LOT ever since we got engaged. We are getting married in March and this year we only get two weeks without her (she lives in another city usually, with her husband)
her husband is old and ill. she doesn’t have a good relationship with him and likes to escape. she is young (in her 50s.) and goes back home to look after him.
She clearly had plans to move in with us for at least half the time after we get marrie and my FH appeared to be on board with it . When I spoke to him about it and expressed concern and said we need at least one year without her he appeared to backtrack and say she never planned To live with us but he sounded disappointed.
should I be worried? I feel she has conditioned him to treat her like a wife and a daughter.
with not too long to go to the wedding, it is very stressful having her at his place because now I can’t go there. We are Indian and it is culturally inappropriate in our parents minds But i visit him when she is not in town. I’m still living with my parents so my place is not an option. I haven’t been intimate with him in almost 2 weeks because we can’t find time alone 🙁
Post # 3
@Glittergirl_2013: re: Your FMIL moving in with you two once your married. This is an important decision which you both must be happy with. I know in some cultures this is acceptable and can work if both agree but don’t do it just to please your man because you will be unhappy. Re: Intimacy…Roll on March :). I can’t really see you getting much intimate time together if she plans on staying with him.:(
Post # 4
@Glittergirl_2013: Yikes! Shouldn’t u both discuss your FMIL moving in with you after you’re married? He can’t just make that decision, What about you? I think he sounded disappointed because he’s used to her taking care of him…LOL after you’re married that will be your job. Sort of right? Three’s a crowd, I would make that clear to FH! Good luck!
Post # 5
@Kimy: I can’t agree more.. roll on March! Yeah I will be unhappy. I’m just a private person I guess
Post # 6
@Birdi: I agree, he is used to her taking care of him, but it’s more than that. He is just really fond of her (and so am I), but I wouldn’t even want my own mother living with me unless she was really old and couldn’t look after herself!
Post # 7
That’s not a fun situation! Try talking it out with you FI and tell him exactly how you feel? I hope it works out!
Post # 8
@Glittergirl_2013: Then tell your man this.” I love your mother dearly but she is capable of looking after herself and we do need time together alone as a married couple.Can we look at it in say….20 years lol”