Post # 1
Me and my husband got married Saturday. My parents and his parents put money towards the wedding but now my mother in law rang my mum up saying that she paid over £600 when she only spent £300 and wants my mum to pay her back when my mum has spent £650 on the wedding. The my mother in law phoned my husband up and asked how much money we got of people instead of presents and wanted some of that. She has made my mum write down everything that she put money towards and is still asking for money back when she didnt even put as much money towards the wedding. And she’s lying saying that she paid £200 on the hall where we had the reception but my friend rang them up asking how much it cost to hire the hall and they said it was £100 so she’s obviously lying and just wants to take our money.
Also, my and my husband dont have that much money so we just brought the bridesmaids and best man presents and my mother in law went in a mood with us at the reception because we didnt buy her anything, but we did explain that to her before and she was fine with it. Then she didnt speak to us again for the rest of the night until we went up to her to say bye when we were leaving.
We don’t know what to do as she wont stop asking my mum for some money back.
Post # 3
Wow. Poor you! I don’t know what to say that’s useful, does your hubby say whether this is usual/mad behaviour for her? I’d be inclined to say pay up to make it stop, but if she’s lying about amounts that’s a bit different. Would he have much contact with her on a normal basis? I mean, would a big falling out have a serious impact on ye, day to day?
Post # 4
Wow HOW RUDE! I would have your husband call his mom and tell her your mom was very generous in helping with the wedding and owes her no money whatsoever. Also the wedding money you got is to start your life together and not for her. Also I would bring up the fact that you happened to ask your friend how much the hall was and say it was only £100 not the £250 that she was claiming. Your hubby really needs to talk to her and tell her to stop being rude to your mother, also make sure your mom doesn’t give her a penny!
Post # 5
HOLY COW! I was absolutely speechless while I was reading that. I can’t believe she had the gall to ask you for YOUR wedding money. Do not give into this woman, she does not deserve the attention she is so obviously and desperately seeking. Some people just don’t know boundaries!!
Post # 6
yikes! i’m sorry you’re going through this already. i have no advice but it sounds like you’re going to have a tough time with your MIL.
Post # 7
Wow. This woman sounds like the definition of toxic. I just went and read your other post about her, and it sounds like you wouldn’t miss much if she was out of your life for good. But that’s really something for your husband to decide (Which, by the way, CONGRATULATIONS!!! :).
As for how your mom can deal with her – does she have any sort of caller ID? Would it be hard to simply ignore her phone calls? Or, even better, I think the phone company can block calls from that number? Honestly, I wouldn’t worry about your MIL’s feelings at this point – she hasn’t worried too much about yours.
Post # 8
Your mum should ignore her phone calls AND her demands. I can’t believe how rude (and crazy) that is! Definitely your husband is the one who needs to deal with her. And don’t worry about hurting her feelings! Don’t give her any more details about money, don’t get involved in her rants by arguing or disagreeing with her, just stay civil and hang up the phone!
Post # 9
thanks for all your help. she phoned again yesterday asking about money but my husband didnt comment and she then said he was being unreasonable so he put down the phone and shes been ringing us none stop since and wont leave us alone.
Post # 10
Sorry to hear you’re going through this, especially so soon after your wedding.
I say ignore her. Let her whine and try calling, and just take the phone off the hook for awhile. Tell your Mom to do the same thing. For now, just enjoy being newlyweds – you just got married! CONGRATULATIONS! So pretend she never said a thing and just enjoy each other.
There really is nothing you can do to stop her from making crazy demands, so just acknowledge she’s crazy and let her be crazy by herself! Do not, under any circumstances, allow her to drive you crazy as well. Ignore her. Period. No lists, no explanation, no apologies, none of that is needed. You can’t talk rational with crazy people and trying to will only give you stress (something you don’t need now).
Post # 11
I am sorry about your MIL. Wow-what kind of kool-aid are these loopy parents drinking these days! I must be an absolute awesome MIL! lol
Post # 12
Oh my goodness. I’m sorry to hear you having to deal with such nonsense. Does your Mom have caller ID? If she does, why does she keep answering the crazy lady’s phone calls? Does your husband feel like he can’t tell his mother to stop and tell her exactly what is going on and that SHE didn’t even pay as much as your mother did to help out? If he doesn’t feel like he can do this then I would suggest just ignoring her calls all together. I’d even send her a letter stating the facts. Of course it may not matter what you do so you might have to just ignore her and avoid her at all costs until she calms down.
Post # 13
Wow. I’m sorry you are in the middle of all this. It seems like she is suddenly hard up for cash … Did she endure some kind of unexpected financial hardship? Maybe she thought she could pay a certain amount before but didn’t actually plan it out very well. I would stick to your guns, and tell your parents to do the same. If you discussed the financial expectations early on and she agreed to pay for part of the wedding, then she just has to deal with that. Asking for money from her new in-laws and especially asking for money from her son and his new wife is totally uncalled for. Just tell her you are sorry that there was a misunderstanding, but you and your parents are unable to pay her the money she is asking for. Let her know you thought it was a gift. (And she’s trying to take the money you got as presents?!?! Crazy!)
Post # 14
My jaw dropped reading this, it sounds like you all just need to stand your ground assuming you never agreed to pay her anything back. She shouldn’t be calling your mother for anything or anyone else for that matter and as for the rest well she needs to back off and you two just need to be a united front! good luck it sounds like you need it and then some.