Post # 1
I started very early looking for brooches because i wanted a brooch/flower mixed bouquet.
I was going to do the crosages and my bouquet myself. So my mother in-law to be wanted to handle that and i said ok,but i put all the brooches in the flowers and even had seperate bags for the flowers to be used in my bouquet and the flowers to be used for the girls wristlets.she did a great job but she did what she wanted. I had over 25 brooches,only one brooch would go in my girls crosage and the rest in my bouquet. The mothers would not get brooches,i had something else for them.i explain this all to her
She put one brooch in my bouquet! gave the girls bouquets and the mothers crosages! im so disgusted. I bought real touch flowers for my bouquet and they are in the crosages. I dont understand ,i seperated the bags and explained. She just mioxed everything up and did what she wanted. Please give me your thoughts
Oh yeah some brooches were given to me by my excercise students because they cant all come,so they are very important and symbolic.
Post # 3
I wouldn’t have let her take over something that was so important. did u tell her what u wanted and expected? I say do it over your way and explain to her what your vision was and that she didn’t fulfill it. either way she’s probably going to get offened…but u were the one who let her do it…so you’ll have to deal with that.
Post # 4
I wouldn’t do any of the options provided. i would pick up everything and tell her htis is not what you wanted and fix it yourself. Nothing worse than showing up onw edding day and your mother in law is shocked to see everything different. Just be honest.
Post # 5
@stargurl101: I agree with this, tell her that it’s not what you wanted, and fix it yourself
Post # 6
ohhhh but i thought i told you i wanted xxxx and xxxx? don’t worry though, i’ll fix it at home! thank you!
Post # 8
- Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island
I wouldn’t let her try and fix it herself, but I also wouldn’t be sneaky about fixing it myself. Be open and honest with her that she didn’t do what you wanted, and that although you appreciate her help, you will re-do it yourself.
Post # 9
Oh man, that sounds awful… I would just be honest and ask her why she didn’t do what you asked. Then take it all home and do it yourself.
Post # 10
@sexymama118: i know 🙁 mshe begged for the stuff and yes i explained what i wanted. I just wanted her to have something to do because she wanted it so bad
Post # 11
thanks everyone my face is still with tears. I know either way she is going to be offended
Post # 12
If it’s not a huge deal and you won’t be too disappointed with the way she did it, then just leave it.
It seems like it’s pretty important to you though. If that’s the case, then you should fix it yourself and gently tell her there must have been a misunderstanding of what you wanted. And then be careful what other tasks you give her. Assign her things you’re not too concerned about.
Post # 13
It’s time to have a serious conversation:
“FMIL, I appreciate your hard work– I really do. Everything is beautiful. However, I have a little issue. (Explain the brooch issue here.)” Then see what she says. If she says she’ll fix it, insist on fixing it together.
If she still doesn’t get it, then maybe say something like, “Again, I want you to know that I really appreciate all of your hard work. Maybe I forgot to mention that I wanted (explain thoroughly what you wanted– again). You know, I have been so busy preparing for the wedding so maybe it just slipped my mind and I forgot to explain all the little details that are important for xyz reason.”
I know you said you already explained to her what you wanted, so we know that you didn’t forget to tell her. But maybe if you frame it that way, it will give her an out and save her from being embarrassed.
I assume she didn’t do this on purpose to piss you off so there must be some other reason this happened.