- 6 years ago
- Wedding: June 2013
I am new here but really wanted to jump right in with a difficult topic for me.
I have been dating my fiance for almost 5 years, and during that time his mom has been a constant source of trouble for us. She is VERY dependent on her son. She tells him personal details about her relationship with his dad and how much financial trouble they are in. She even goes so far as to tell him how to deal with his realtionship with me.
Lately it has become known to me that she has been telling people that I am abusive to him! Me?? If any of you serisously knew me, you would know that I am just not capabale of making someone feel badly about themselves of hurting them physically. She has been sending him e-mails telling him where to go for help, how sad she is that he is going through this, and how his family doesn’t know what to do anymore. She even posted on a public forum about scrapbooking (we are both members) about her son is in an abusive relationship and she wants prayers to help her and him out.
My fiance and I have talked this whole problem over in detail and came to the conclusion that she is putting way too much stress on our relationship with this nonsense. However we don’t really know what to do about it. Talking it out with her and reasoning with her hasn’t done anything in the past (she refuses to listen to his side and insists that it all comes from me). We can’t tell her that what she is doing and saying is hurting us and our relationship together and I don’t want my fiance to stop talking to his famliy altogether.
I just really do not know what to do. Since talking won’t help the situation. He tries to be firm with her by saying “that is your opnion, please respect mine by not discussing it with other people” sort of thing.
I am just really worried that if we don’t set some sort of boundary now then further on when we have children it will be too late and there will be some separation from his family then. Or that the children will be put into a bad environment.