Post # 1
My partner and I have just picked our venue and fell in love with it the moment we saw it after about 3 months of searching for a place that we really felt was ‘us’. Since then we have been so excited about the whole process even though our wedding is a while away. We have chosen a vineyard with a beautiful little tuscan looking cellar door on it where we can attach a clear marquee and as its just a cellar door we will need to organise a caterer. We are having a sit down meal and having the ceremony on site as well so that are guests can just remain in the one beautiful area.
My fiance had a conversation with his mother about the venue about a week ago and she didnt say much about it. But a few days later his sister was over and his mother said ‘why dont you come and tell your sister about the horrible venue you have chosen’ … and from then on the mother just kept complaining … that it was a crappy marquee wedding, the food will be crappy, it”ll be hot .. you get the jist.
I wasnt there, and as soon as my fiance told me I started to feel a mixture of emotions – sadness and anger … the wedding isnt for over a year and already she is complaining. She even made a comment about ‘well if I’m paying for it ….’ – we havent even asked her for any money!!!!!!!
I am guessing alot of people go through this with their mother in laws – I am just worried as she completely ruined our engagement party as she was so cold towards my family and complained about everything.
She hasnt ever said much to my face, do I just keep the peace and try to keep calm and just not involve her in anything wedding related? Has anyone been in a similar situation?
Post # 2
Is it that possible to keep her out of wedding planning as much as possible? I know she will need some details, but other than that- don’t tell her anything.
If she really isn’t paying then she doesn’t need to know. My MIL tends to share a lot of information with others and I didn’t want it getting back to other family members, so I kept a lot of the decor and choices to myself. But complaining is whole other issue.
Post # 3
Mls1988 – I don’t see her alot at the moment so can keep it to myself in that way, but my fiance still lives at home so it’ll just be whatever he leaks to her. I’ve asked him not to tell me if she picks on anything regarding the wedding anymore because it just upsets me.
My mum has actually offered to pay for about 1/5 of the wedding so we had thought of asking his parents if they would help us as well (they had already mentioned to my fiance if he needed any money just to ask and culturally in our backgrounds parents usually help out) and we would pay the rest – but now I don’t want to touch their money with a ten foot pole … imagine the control she would want!
Post # 4
That’s terrible! You poor thing! 🙁
Post # 5
This definitely sucks! I think the hardest part of wedding planning is remembering that its YOUR wedding and the day will be about you and your Fiance!!
I know from my wedding planning perspectives we have decided that we will paying for almost everything ourselves to avoid the “well i am paying for it” comments from both our families. Family members love to share their ideas of how they would plan the wedding forgetting its not theirs or should I say ignoring the fact that it isn’t theirs
My best advice is to keep her at a distance and minimal communication