Weddingbee boards

@juliesprague:  This should probably be posted in the family or emotional categories instead of rings, but being a newbee I understand the confusion.  Anyway, the way I feel about my mil can probably best be summed up in the "letter" I wrote in a post about things we all want to say.  Read and enjoy!

Dear MIL, 

     I bet you never dreamed when you brought your baby boy home from the hospital that the day would come when he would disown you.  I am proud to be the woman that encouraged him and took him away.  You are a dispicable excuse for a human being and you don't deserve anything from us, nor will you ever get anything from us.  There is a special place in the lowest caverns of Hell for you.  The turmoil and hardship that puncuated my husband childhood, because of you ,makes you unfit to even be refered to as a mother.  You are the antithesis of everything maternal. 

     As you have heard from other family members, we have two beautiful daughters.  I hope it breaks your heart that you have not and will never meet them.  We hear from family members that you have emphesema.  They tell us that we should contact you.  We don't care that you are dying and have no intention on contacting you just because your miserable life is coming to an end.  There will be no attending of the funeral, no tears from us, and no regrets.  It has been 7.5 years since we disowned you and 5 years since I last had to look at your ugly face.  Your son and I am rediculously happy and have a beautiful life together. 

with no regard,

The wife of the man formerly known as your son!

P.S.  Wouldn't it have been easier to have been nice to me?  I tried to warn you.  If you didn't want to pay the piper you shouldn't have danced to the music Bitch!

@juliesprague:  I don't dislike my MIL however I don't love her with all I've got either!  She is very passive aggressive and sometimes I find myself wanting to snap at her and say, "spit it out already, tell me exactly what your issue is..."  bc instead of telling DH and me when there is something up her butt she spews out lame lame lame one liner comments that make me want to back hand her (NOT literally).  Saying that she does have a huge heart, she is very caring and she is always available to help out if need be.  It helps that his parents are two states away 

Is there something specific going on with you and your MIL that you need help with or support? 

@ams12:  Well, my mil never liked me from the beginning.  Add to that the fact that she is an alcoholic who would get drunk and call us and when I answered the phone would say things like "Its Deborah, You are a stupid bitch and my son can do so much better.  It can't wait until he figures that out and gets rid of you"  Then go on to talk to him like everything was fine.  She has called me every name in the book, in private, in public, anywhere and everywhere.  She repeatedly subjected all of her children to multiple abusive men and helped cover up her own child's molestation by her brother.  She flat out told me, at a family bbq "This is my family, and you are not welcome in it".  She (had my husband as a teenager) and told him in my presence, "You ruined my life.  I wish I would have had the good sense to have an abortion.  If I didn't have the sense to have an abortion I should have at least brought you home and bashed your head agaist the wall until you were dead and been done with it.".  I could go on and on about the crap she has done.  My husband took a couple of years to escape the co-dependancy she had bred into him growing up.  He used to make excuses and try to blame me.  Thank God he finally saw her for who she is.  I think it makes him sad that it couldn't have been different.  I think he wishes he had a wonderful and normal family.  Honestly it makes me sad too.  Unfortunately, the deal we made when we got married was that I would marry him on the condition that we never have anything else to do with her.  To this day if I ever found out that he contacted her or had any contact with her at all, I would get a divorce.  I simply refuse to allow that kind of evil in my life.

Damn, some of these posts give me chills!

I really do love FMIL, but does she drive me nuts sometimes? YEP. YEP. YEP.

But she means well.  And every time she does something that gets me fired up - like wanting to invite all of their neighbors in their small town when we're paying $110 plus tax/gratuity a person, I just let her know in as reasonable of a way as possible, and she always more than makes up for it.  Turns out, she just didn't know we were paying that much, or what weddings cost these days...  When I told her, she said she figured it was $30 or $40 a person - BAHAHAHA!  So then what did she do?  She mailed our wedding present early- a check for $4k, in case we wanted to use it for the wedding bc she didn't like that we were both worried about money.  And THEN she sent another $1K check to cover the guests she added, and even if they don't end up coming, which most of them are not as we live in FL and everyone has to travel here from other states, she still insisted that we keep it.

So I just try to be a sweet as I can be, but put my foot down when I can't take something anymore, and when I do that - she always makes up for any harm done:)

I can't imagine her ever saying anything mean to me...I don't know what I would do.  FI is one of her three boys, she doesn't have any daughters...She often says that she and FFIL feel like I'm their daughter in a way.  And today she even said that FFIL, who is not an emotional person, told her that he's worried he may cry at our wedding bc he's so happy that FI is marrying me...And that he doesn't think he's supposed to cry for a son's wedding, but he's so happy and I'm kind of his daughter, so he just may cry. It was touching.

This post made me realize JUST how lucky I am.