Mother-in-laws…. & Dealing with them

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

That’s crazy I am so glad your FI is sticking up for you though , it would be even worse if he took her side, all I can say is just try to ignore her for FI sake. My biggest fear is my MIL turning crazy haha I have a couple of issues with her now but absolutely nothing like that good luck 🙂

Post # 5
362 posts
Helper bee

You’ll have to stand up to her eventually otherwise this will just go on and get worse.  You guys need to set boundaries and consequences for what happens when she gets out of line again

Post # 6
1734 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1998

I don’t think this sounds like a person who’s going to sit down, talk things out and agree to set boundaries. This is a person accustomed to getting her way – and I don’t think it’s going to stop. You sit down for this lovely ‘chat’ she has planned, and it’s going to give her more ammunition to use against you…it’s going to turn into, “I was big enough to have a chat about our problems with Maypearl, and she (blahblahblah).”

Don’t respond to her crazy messages. I wouldn’t bother defending myself to her, wouldn’t bother sticking any spoon in that crazy shitpot. Your fiance has your back.

I wouldn’t have any contact with her unless your fiance’s present in the future. He’ll always be there to back you up.

Bolt your doors. Seriously, if I saw that nutter coming, I’d turn back around, go inside, lock my doors and tell her I’m calling the police if she doesn’t leave. Your fiance’s okay with this, though? Having a relationship with her at all?

Is he sitting down with her and establishing boundaries? This is a long-term investment of dealing with craziness – it’s not enough for you to tolerate it and hide out from it. This could stand to go on for years more; clearly it’s been going on for at least 20 or 30 already.

How will the two of you handle this woman if you have children together? Start working on a plan for the future while you negotiate what to do with her now.

I’m sorry you’re going through this – this is a MIL story that trumps most of those of late.


Post # 8
1112 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@maypearl:  *hugs*


That is a bucket load of crazy right there.


It’s hard to know how to handle people like that, ignoring her could make it even worse! Sometimes people like like only respond to strength.  How firm have you been with her? A talk might be a good idea in which you firmly and calmly explain what boundaries are. Could she turn that into ammo? maybe… but it sounds like she doesn’t really need an excuse to get fired up anyways! I’m the “take the bull by the horns in a polite way” kind of person. Kill her with kindness, but don’t back down.


Post # 9
1872 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I’d talk to the ladies on this board:

Otherwise, I agree with what CookieCreamCakes said. Do EVERYTHING you can to never, ever have to communicate with her. Let your fiance deal with it. If she comes over unannounced, lock the doors and don’t let her in. And YES come up with a plan for if you have children, because you KNOW this woman is going to think they are HERS and that she can experience their firsts, feed them food that they’re not supposed to have, etc etc etc. You may need to go to couples counseling to work some of this stuff out.

Post # 11
845 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@maypearl:  So what’s the plan looking like to get some physical distance between you two and her? A couple hundred miles can do wonders for establishing boundaries. 😉

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