Post # 1
I need some advice. My mother in law has requested our dj’s information so that she can put together some type of “surprise” for our wedding. My fiancé said we were not crazy about having any “surprises” at our wedding. He tried to get some more info and found out it was going to be something for the mother son dance. She had requested some pictures from us so we think perhaps she’s putting together some type of slide show or something for during their dance. I think it might be odd that they have something during their dance and my father and I won’t. I’m put off by the fact that she thinks it’s ok that she just do is without asking us, but am realizing that that’s just her way in general. I’m not worried this will steal my spotlight or anything like that but I’m worried it will make my parents feel bad they didn’t get the offer for this as well. My parents are putting on the wedding. I feel like if she wanted to surprise us wicoo something for my fiancé and I or did the same thing for my dad and I that might be ok, but it seems odd o do it for just them. I would feel the some way if it was the other way around and my parents wanted to do something special. I would insist they do the same for my fiancé and his family. I’d appreciate any advice and thoughts on this! Thanks!
Post # 3
Perhaps since your parents are paying for the wedding, you could tell her to contact your parents for the DJ’s info. That way she will have to explain why, and what she is doing. It will still be a surprise for you and FH but your parents will know, if they want to make their own surprise too.
Post # 4
@kerensa: +1 to this!
I’m with you on not wanting surprises at your wedding, I would not like that at all. Have your FI explain that if something special is done for her then something special needs to be done for your parents especially sense they are paying for it. Good luck!!!
Post # 5
Sit down and talk to her about it. You should let her know that the location will NOT allow slideshows…. and be done with it.
Post # 6
@kerensa: +1. Your parents are paying for the wedding, they should know what’s going on. Then you get the info, and stick in your own surprise as well.
Post # 7
@sn0912: Your fiance should be the one to talk to her. All he has to say is “The DJ already has our instructions for the night because we don’t want any surprises. I’m really looking forward to our special dance.”
Post # 8
No surprises and no slide show, a simple no, don’t let it drag. The nerve of her.
Post # 9
No surprises and no slide show, a simple “no”, no need foe explanation and don’t let it drag. The nerve of her.
Post # 10
@sn0912: I agree, I would hate to have any surprises at my wedding. It sounds like she’s trying to shine extra attention in hereself – not necessarily to steal your spotlight but just so she can sit there and tell people “oh, I did this as a surprise for the kids, aren’t I such a great mother, look at me, blah blah blah” I don’t get why people can’t just be quiet and let a couple have their day. I would say no and suggest that she put on whatever puppet show she’s planning on a laptop at the rehearsal dinner. I think that might be a more appropriate venue for it anyway. I’d still make her tell you, at least, what will be happening and let the surprise be for your fiancé. Best of luck.
Post # 11
Thanks so much everyone. This is really helpful!
Post # 12
Just tell her that she can tell you the song she wants played and you can relay that to the DJ directly. There is no reason she needs to talk to your DJ herself. If she presses the issues just tell her that you aren’t interested in surprises.