- 4 years ago
- Wedding: September 2014
I am at a loss, i had expected my mother to be more supportive of ME during this process. Since we resumed wedding planning she has been nothing but a disaster and I am assuming it is because there is that offer on the table for if we can’t afford it all in the end that she will front us some cash.
The wedding is small and our max budget is $5000 for 50 guests. I did consult her before doing my venue booking. The venue itself is about $200 for the evening and dinner will be closer to $1000. I already put my deposit down on the venue and added it to the invitations which have already arrived…
This morning she started complaining about my choices and said she could’ve gotten me a different hall (it isn’t my first choice by far) for free with only spending a few hundred on meals because she is a member… I am kind of pissed now because that would’ve been helpful information before I booked things and ordered invitations with the venue on them!
She also has turned on my photographer choice. I was able to get a deal of $500 for a few hours of photography since she’ll only be providing me a disk with un-watermarked photos so I don’t need to blow my budget on prints. She is now saying that it is far too much to pay and that I could’ve gotten her friend to do it for free (which isn’t happening, I want some kind of decent photo and not some really amateur shot) when I told her no she insisted I am getting ripped off and there HAS to be a better deal!
I had went out and got a beautiful black leather guest book, I had originally wanted white but it was practically free because of a cancelled wedding. She then went out and bought a really cheap looking white guest book and threw a fit when I said she should return it. She also went ahead and purchased the flower girl basket and ring pillow without even asking me about it!
Her final comment to me today actually made me cry, she said that we might as well just elope at the courthouse and forget all of this wedding business. This stung me so bad inside as growing up I never had any big parties or even attend a high school dance – this wedding is a big deal for me emotionally even though it isn’t a huge affair. But to hear my mother practically say after bossing me around that I should just go to the courthouse?
I don’t know how to handle her and how to confront her without burning the bridge between us. I want to tell her to butt out completely but at the same time she is the only person I really have other than FI to plan a wedding. Her behaviour and comments are driving me insane. She can be very dramatic and I can just picture her walking away and saying that she’ll just see me at the wedding and not bother helping!
So stressed about this…