Post # 1
I was talking to my mum a while ago on the phone saying we were looking at wedding cakes and she suggested someone she knew from church. I said I’d come and have a look and speak to her. So I did, and the woman (although she only charged about 60% what cake stores charged) had no examples of her work and I couldn’t taste any of her cakes. So I said to mum that we (fiance and I) were more comfortable going with a professional company (taking into consideration that her wedding cake and my cousin’s wedding cake which were made by friends were both ruined).
Anyway a few days later at a birthday she started at me about it. She bascially said (in front of the whole family) that I wasn’t trusting her judgement and that I was being superfical. I started crying and was very hurt. I stayed the rest of the night but couldndn’t speak to her as I was so upset.
Weeks later I hadn’t heard a word from her. I had spoken to my dad and he said she was more upset at my aunt than me. ?
Yesterday I had to call my dad about something and she answered. I asked her to pass along the msg to my dad and then she quickly said “bye” and hung up.
I can’t believe that after 6 weeks she is not only still mad at me but is not talking to me still. I can’t even understand if I’ve done anything wrong.
Please share your thoughts…
Post # 3
@bellacherie: Your mom is trying to emotionally blackmail you and don’t fall for it. A professional company is best to work with. You’ve seen the results of non-professional cakes and you are smart to want to avoid the drama of it.
Post # 4
The lady may very well make beautiful, great tasting cakes, but if you can’t see any pics or taste her product, it would take a lot more than trusting my Mom to get me to commit to that.
Leaving that aside, you can be the one to restore the relationship with your mother. Instead of just giving her a message for your Dad, you could ask how she is doing, when you can see her again etc.. If she is letting pride get in the way, be careful you don’t also. Too many moms and daughters have let months and years pass, all in the name of who was right or wrong. Tell her out loud that you don’t want this incident to get in the way of your relationship and you hope that she feels the same way.
Post # 5
Weddings tend to make everyone highly sensitive. Especially the immediate family of the bride and groom. Tell your mother you value her opinions, and most of all her desire to help you and her caring about your wedding. Then tell her that you hope she can understand that it’s not so much a matter of not trusting her judgment as it is just making up your own mind about who is your favorite cake vendor and whose approach makes you the most comfortable.
Post # 6
Wow thanks for your responses! I think what I may have left out is thAt she and my dad are paying for the reception food which is about 10k. I feel like if I don’t do what pleases her she will pull the money and I’m left in the lurch. I’mthinking of tellingher that her contribution makesme uncomfortable so we are scaling things back. I really appreciate everyone’s input 🙂