Post # 1
My wedding date is in May 2010. Currently, my mother and I are on the outs and have been for several weeks. It was a long time coming, frankly, and she isn’t one to forgive or forget, so it may take a long time before she starts being willing to go dress shopping with me.
Anyway, I have been going shopping with my bridesmaids and future mother in law. I have found two dresses that I really like. One I can afford, but is frankly out of the range that I wanted to spend. The other is on sale this week for 50% and is therefore exactly within my price range. My problem is, do I go ahead and buy the less expensive one and hope that the fact that I purchased my wedding dress without my mother there doesn’t cause a permament rift or do I wait and hope for a turn-around? How long do you think that I have to wait before I start facing the possibility of having to pay rush fees, etc?
Post # 3
I’m so sorry to hear you and your mom are on the outs! I’m glad you seem to like your FMIL enough to trust her opinion on dresses, though! Rush fees tend to start around 4-5 months I believe, as long as you don’t need your dress before the end of May. (I’ve seen some bees with bridal shots early enough that they had dresses for October weddings before mine came in for next weekend.) If you like the dress that is NOT on sale better, I would recommend waiting and seeing what happens with your mom. If you’re interested i waving the white flag first, waving a wedding dress would probably get her to respond.
Post # 4
- Wedding: October 2009 - Ceremony: The Kraine Theatre, Reception: Midtown Loft & Terrace
I was going to say, maybe you could tell your mom that you need to order soon? That way you can get an idea of what she’s thinking. Sometimes the best thing to do is the most obvious. I was having an issue getting my mom to talk about my dress and so I finally told her that I had to order!
Post # 5
what Miss Star said – tell your mum its a time deadline and maybe she will like to join you. i have many issues with my mother and it helps if we have something else to focus on to move forward
Post # 6
I’d wait a little while. My daughter and I just bought her dress last week and it really was magical. I called it a TV moment. She cried. I cried. She’s a May 2010 bride too and they told us we could have waited til Sept or Oct to order and have been fine. It’s hard being on the outs with your Mom..especially now. Meet her more than half way. You’ll be glad you did.
Post # 7
I would wait too honestly. You have some time and I really don’t think this is something you want to do without your mom. I know you’re mad now, and justifiably probably, but it’s still one of those moments you can never get back. For a lot of girls it’s one of those rights of passage.
My mom is a total (lovable) pain in my ass but I know it would’ve really hurt her if I’d bought my wedding dress without her there. God, especially with my future MIL.
Post # 8
I would probably do my best to talk to her. Dress aside, mend the relationship.
Post # 9
I agree with the other bees, too. I would try and wait, but since you’re really crunched for time, maybe you could even ask your mother for her opinion on the two dresses. I think not including your mom on the wedding dress would only do more damage.