Mother of Bride Hosting Bridal Shower?

posted 3 years ago in Parties
  • poll:
    absolutely not ok - I would be offended : (7 votes)
    17 %
    outdated notion - wouldn't think anything of it : (35 votes)
    83 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2871 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I think this “rule” came form a time period where the bride was still young and living with her parents when she went to get married.  In that case, I can understand the “By my daughter stuff to get her out of our house” thing.  Now that most brides are out of the house for at least a couple years before they get married, I think that “rule” is a lot less pratical.

    Unless the bride is throwing the party for herself, who ever throws it is not “getting anything out of it.” 

    I also don’t see how this is gift grabby where a mother can throw a birthday party for her one year old and everyone will bring something. 

     

    Post # 4
    Member
    1566 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @primadonna5:  It’s acceptable in some circles, especially when there aren’t many relatives who live in town.

    Post # 5
    Member
    3735 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @primadonna5:  My mom has hosted for my sister and SIL and will host for me. It’s what she enjoys and it’s her tradition. I see nothing wrong with it.

    Post # 7
    Hostess
    22135 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Iny my area and my circles, this isn’t considered a no-no. It’s pretty common for us. 🙂

    Post # 8
    Hostess
    9892 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @primadonna5:  The last shower I was at was hosted by the bridal party and the MOB (at the GMOB’s house), the one before that the bride had 2, one hosted by the MOB jointly with AOB, and a second hosted by the MOH and MOG.

    I don’t think it really matters.  As long as you’re not hosting it yourself.

    Post # 10
    Member
    2649 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    @primadonna5:  I wish your poll had another option.  

    Yes, a mother hosting a shower is inappropriate.  But woul I be mortally offended?  No.  Provided the rest of their behavior was good I would assume they didnt know any better.  If, however, they demonstrate other gift grabby behavior, then yeah, I’m going to be offended.

    Example:  I have a step-neice who had two kids already.  After her second marriage she got pregnant for the third time and her mother, my SIL, hosted a shower for her.  A shower because while she had everything she needed, she just wanted all new stuff.  Including crib, changing table, stroller, rocker, etc.  Sha had all these things – she just merely wanted all new stuff so why not put upon family and friends to provide it?  

    Yes, I was offended and felt used.  It was just a greed fest and no one enjoys that except the Greedzilla.  

    Post # 11
    Member
    185 posts
    Blushing bee

    @primadonna5:  I’ve been a part of weddings before where the shower is hosted by the bridesmaids and the bride’s parents.  In each of those cases the bridesmaids and the mother were listed as hosts, and I saw no problem with it.  I think it’s very common when the costs of the shower are considerable.  I’ve also been a part of a bridal party where the bride’s parents contributed nothing to the shower – and let me tell you it’s EXPENSIVE for a couple of young girls to host that many people.

    I know my mom intends to contribute the lion’s share of my shower, because she doesn’t want my bridesmaids to have to pay to host all of MY family, you know?  I don’t think anyone would think it’s gift-grabby on her part.  In reality she’s trying to make the financial burden as little as possible for my friends.

    Post # 12
    Member
    11712 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Honestly, my family is all wrapped up in etiquette, and I’ve never heard this before!

    Post # 13
    Member
    885 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I don’t think I’ve ever been to a shower that hasn’t been hosted by the MOB or MOG.  My shower was held at my aunt’s house, but it was technically “hosted” and organized by my stepmom, my aunt just offered to have it at her place.

    Post # 14
    Hostess
    22135 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2011

    @primadonna5:  To indicate on the invitation that the mother of the bride is hosting? I personally don’t find it inappropriate — like I said, pretty common in my area.

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