Post # 1
So, every girl dreams of the day they get engaged and how they’ll tell their family..right? Well I had these dreams running through my head when my lovely fiance got down on one knee…my mother’s response? We went to dinner with my parents that night and my dad shed a few tears and explained how happy he was that I had such an amazing future husband..My mother? She gave the pat on the back type hug and very awkwardly said “congrats”.
Anyone else had a parent act this way? She’s turned into a terror since I’ve started planning the wedding too! Saying she refuses to come to a summer wedding, that I’m living in a dream world etc..How do I politely tell her this is MY wedding,not hers!?
Post # 3
I wonder if your mother is trying to hold it in instead of showing you her emotions? Are your parents the ones who are paying for the wedding? If they are, it kind of is ‘their wedding’ since you have to have their approval to spend their money unfortunately. I hope that your mother stops being so horrible though!
Post # 4
I mean they are contributing money, but my fiance and I are as well. For example, she hates the idea of wine/beer at our reception so he and I are paying for that which is fine. When I show her things I like she makes this ugly face and tells me no way!
Not even two weeks after being engaged I told her about a DJ I found and she responded, “Have you ever heard of an iPod?Press play”….WHAT?!!
I see wedding planners in book stores and think to myself that when I have a daughter, I will be showering her with gifts like this. It’s just hurtful and quite annoying to argue with her so much!
Post # 5
It might help if you can involve her in some of the wedding plans? Ask her to help you shop for a dress, look at invitations, etc. Sometimes a little involvement is all parents are looking for. If you do involve her, make sure you listen to her ideas (even if you don’t use them), and if they’re not what you like, gently and respectfully tell her that you had something else in mind, then ask her to help you with that.
Post # 6
That is so strange. I wonder if she thinks that you don’t have the money to spend on a wedding? Or is she just always passive-agressive? I would maybe pull back from sharing as many details with her since she just seems to want to poop on them!
Post # 7
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
Work with your dad instead. 😉 Some mothers just are not supportive in wedding planning, and it’s honestly less difficult and painful to plan without them.
Post # 8
Yes, it is incredibly weird! I know we’re on a budget, but I feel like she thinks you have to have a church ceremony/reception to have a wedding under 20,000…which isn’t true!
Spaniel-I’ve decided planning with my dad is going to work best. I’m sure my mom will complain and make some smart comment about how we’re going behind her back..but oh well!
Post # 9
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
I’m sort of doing the same thing… I involve my dad in big decisions, and my mom when her criticisms won’t bother me. She gets annoyed about it, but wedding planning is hard enough without a nitpicky mother!
Post # 10
My mother wanted to be involved since she and I were not talking when I got the married the first time and she missed out on everything.
Problem is, all she does is complain about her job and my aunt the entire time every time we talk. I try to tell her about wedding stuff and she literally ignores me and I can hear here talking to the dogs in the background on the phone.
I don’t even want to see her at Christmas, I kinda wish we still weren’t talking. This were happier and easier when we weren’t.
Post # 11
I always dreamed that my Mom and I would plan my wedding together, but she has shown no interest in doing so with me which has bummed me out. I called her when I found my dream dress on my own and her comment was “that’s a lot of money, why don’t we go look in David’s bridal?”
I have no advice since I feel like I have been putting out fires with her recently, but I do understand what you are going through!