Post # 1
My best friend got married this past weekend, and I have to tell you, the mother of the groom was a complete nut job from start to finish.
My friend Nancy married Gavin on Saturday. Gavin’s mom, Jennifer, has been involved in the wedding planning since day one. The wedding was very DIY, and everything turned out very nice. The reception was casual but the ceremony itself was rather formal. Nancy bought her dress quite awhile ago, a beautiful, formal, typical wedding gown. Jennifer thought it was stupid to have the bridesmaids buy dresses they would never wear again, so she told Nancy that we should all wear khaki capris and white blouses. She also thought the groom and his groomsmen should wear T-Shirt tuxedos. Thankfully, Nancy told her no, and we were all attired in outfits that fit the bride’s choice to wear a formal gown.
Then, during the rehearsal, Jennifer insisted on being walked down the aisle. By Gavin. Directly before Nancy entered with her father. Jennifer then insisted on standing next to Gavin, on the side where the bride would be entering. She was directly in between Nancy and Gary, and will be featured prominently in all of the photos. She also insisted on giving Gavin away after Nancy and her father were on the platform.
THEN, she had the most inappropriate mother/son dance ever. I’m talking, all up on him, rubbing her hands up and down his sides, completely awkward. Nancy also had a lingerie party for her bachelorette, and Jennifer picked out the items that she took with her on her wedding night from the haul she got at the shower.
TALK ABOUT AWKWARD. For reference, her son is well into his thirties.
Post # 2
WOW! Crazy, crazy. I cannot imagine if my MIL had been between me and my husband through the entire ceremony! It sounds like this mom would have had issues with anyone he married. Is your best friend’s husband pretty well adjusted in spite of his mom? What did he think of her behaviour?
Post # 3
- Wedding: March 2014 - A castle!
First of all, you’ll probably get some slack from some folks by using the words pyscho and nut job to describe tihs woman’s behavior. There are many people that think that is an ableist attitude, so here’s your warning…
Next, yes his mom did behave inappropriately, but the bride could have put her foot down and said “NO, you’re not standing between the groom and me at the altar.” Not that difficult. Next, she didn’t have to wear what his mother picked for their wedding night, I agree that is a bit weird. That’s why my MIL didn’t get invited to my bachelorette party. The rubbing her hands up and down his sides kind of sounds like something my MIL would do – because she can be pretty all-around-awkward when she’s been drinking.
Anyways, just be glad it’s not your family.
Post # 4
Ew, even as a guest this would’ve made me uncomfortable. Maybe it’s just because I have a super controlling FMIL but I can spot them a mile a way. The fact that she couldn’t let any attention or importance be off of her for a moment is very telling and I feel sorry for the couple if they don’t stop this now.
Post # 6
FutureDrAtkins: Well, I’d edit that out, but it seems like there’s no edit option so I guess let the flames begin! My BF’s mom is actually mentally ill with schizophrenia, and I try to differentiate between actual mental illness and inappropriate behavior, but those were the two best words to come to mind for her. For the record, Nancy didn’t say a word about any of it, besides the clothing. She was pretty angry about the whole standing on the alter issue, but she picked her battles carefully. She is a much better woman than I am.
Songstress_7: It’s weird because Jennifer actually LOVES Nancy, and she is super excited that they’re married. She helped out a ton with the wedding and everything, it just seems like when the time came for them to actually say their I do’s, she went a little left of center.
playdohpants: She’s in for a rude awakening when Gavin moves out of her house. He was staying there for financial reasons, but as Nancy owns a house, he’ll be leaving. It will be interesting to see how that plays out.
Post # 7
jillbean1217: As someone with schizophrenia, I would never behave so awfully at a wedding. Unless she is experiencing an episode of psychosis, which it certainly doesn’t sound like she was, she is responsible for her actions and I won’t flame you for your word choice lol. Just reading this made me uncomfortable so I can’t imagine being there to witness it firsthand! How embarrassing for all involved.
Post # 8
jillbean1217: Wow…this sounds like it was a very uncomfortable day. I thought my friend’s mom was bad, but jeez! Her behavior was totally inappropriate, and the dancing sounds downright disturbing, but both the groom and the bride are adults and should have cut that behavior off immediately. If you don’t want something to happen, you have to actuallly say/do something about it. Good luck to them-they’re gonna need it!
Post # 9
SoonToBeMrsT16: Oh no, Jennifer doesn’t have schizophrenia, my BF’s mom does. Like you, I can’t imagine her acting like that, even if she was off her meds. Jennifer is just her own special blend of uniqueness.
Post # 10
jillbean1217: Ohhh alright, I misread then haha. Yeah that whole situation is just so uncomfortable, good on your friend though for having the patience of a saint.
Post # 11
I’ve seen many weddings where the groom walks down with the mother or parents before the bride and where both sets of parents remain standing. I believe this is very traditional in some religions and cultures.
The clothing ideas for wedding party were “different,” considering the bride’s attire, but was a suggestion that went nowhere.
Picking out the lingerie is a bit much, but if the MOG was at the bride’s shower, or bride showed off her haul to FMIL, it’s not exactly like it came from nowhere. Sounds like one of those times when you had to be there to judge how weird it really was.
The touching during the first dance does sound strange. I know a mother and adult son who can be physically affectionate with one another like that. It’s is uncomfortable to watch. They are apparently just touchy feely kind of people.
Post # 12
weddingmaven: I don’t think it would have been nearly as awkward if Jennifer had stood to Gavin’s right, between him and the officiant, as we suggested during the rehearsal. It was the fact that she wanted to stand on his left, between him and the bride that had people emotional. I’d also understand a cultural or traditional divide, but this was a non-religious wedding without anyone of a different background. I agree with you on the touchy feely thing, and I’m sure there wasn’t anything actual Alfred Hitchcock Psycho about it, it was just really uncomfortable to watch.
Post # 13
It sounds to me like Jennifer was just looking for attention.
My FSIL is getting married the month before me and her mom (FMIL) is very much into planning the wedding! FMIL at first was very upset that FI and I are basically eloping and having the party when we come back otherwise I’m sure she would have been like that with him too.
There was only so much Nancy could do though. Even if she did tell Jennifer to stand on the other side of Gavin, if Jennifer is that head strong, she would not have listened anyway.
It sounds like Jennifer made an ass out of herself.
Post # 14
sounds like a bunch of things DH’s mom would do! She’s on drugs..is this lady on drugs or just super weird?
Post # 15
jillbean1217: Her son apparently allowed this behavior.