(Closed) Mother planning wedding/honeymoon BEFORE proposal !?!

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1328 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I’ve told my mom in the past that SO is the one, and we plan on marrying in the next couple years.  But no proposal yet.  She is good about it, but apparently my aunt/godmother is already planning a bridal shower (like in her head, not real planning).

I think it’s cute, since they’re just exicted and thinking of ideas which is the same thing I do.

Post # 5
Member
9552 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think it’s sweet she’s so excited but I would make sure she doesn’t get too into this before an actual proposal. Thinking about things is okay. Buy or reserving things is not. But it sounds like you’ll have an awesome honeymoon!

Post # 7
Member
10 posts
Newbee

My mom is just like this. SO had “the” talk with my dad at the weekend. Ever since my mom has worried about the guest list, bridesmaids, venues, dates everything and like OP I’m still waiting on a proposal

Post # 8
Member
1670 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

My mom is on the verge of swinging into planning land. We are getting formally engaged this coming Christmas but will be booking the venue/church etc in March or April. Maybe photographer as well. SO and I are ready to start planning.

I’ve asked her to hold off until we tell my family on Valentines day. She’s like a horse at the start of a race right now, it’s hysterical.

This doesn’t bother me, she’ll be doing most of the legwork as I’m getting married in my hometown and I don’t live there. But it is SO FUNNY watching her restrain herself. She’s calling going “I ALMOST BOUGHT A MAGAZINE BUT I DIDN’T WANT ANYONE TO FIND OUT”.

Post # 9
Member
1828 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Ugh! I’m 43 and my mother tried this one. FH talked to my dad to ask his blessing and told them to tell no one…she calls me up 2 days later asking when the date was! He didn’t propose for months after because he had to sell his house first and then we had a ring made but every time I talked to her, she would ask when and then start telling me ‘We can just do it in your backyard’ and ‘Your family will help out’…ummm…that would be a NO. The only WE doing anything is my FH and I and he has a family too!

Post # 10
Member
1224 posts
Bumble bee

I think my mom is ready for SO and I to hurry up and get engaged. I’m trying to downplay how serious our relationship is because I want to postpone the inevitable butting in with wedding plans for as long as I possibly can, for several reasons, the main one being that she wants me to throw a huge party for all of her friends and family to get high and drunk at which is not at all what I want (and she has outright said that this is what she wants). I’m trying to hold off that battle of wills for as long as I can.

Post # 11
Member
155 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Okay first off you need to tell your mom to slam on the breaks until you actually have a ring on your finger. Otherwise it puts way too much pressure on your boyfriend and is completely inappropriate.

2) Your mom doesn’t get to pick your ring out, your boyfriend does

3)Your fiance really ought to get a say in where the teo of you go for your honeymoon.

4) Don’t just assume that your boyfriends parents will pay for your wedding. They may contribute nothing and that is their right. If having a wedding is important to your boyfriend you need to be prepared for the likelihood that the 2 of you will have to pay for that on your own.

Post # 12
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

For me, my FMIL is the one going crazy planning! I totally feel for you!

Post # 14
Member
10 posts
Newbee

@subtlebee:  Absolutely! Today when I got in from work she started on about what church the wedding would be in and what month! So I asked her what wedding was she talking about? Its like I totally want her to be involved in this process I love her and appreciate her…but calm down, relax at least wait until I’ve got a ring! I guess she’s compensating for missing out on planning her wedding with her mom as she had passed away long beforehand. Oh I feel guilty for being so hard on her now. But it worries me that it will only get worse!!!

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