(Closed) Mother regretting kids – Article

posted 5 years ago in Parenting
Post # 3
Member
1670 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Wow.  I just read the 2nd line “I resented the time my children consumed. Like parasites, they took from me and didn’t give back.” and I already hate this woman.

Post # 4
Member
4734 posts
Honey bee

Wow. Just… wow. At least – the very least – she took care of them and didn’t neglect them. Though, they probably would’ve gotten more motherly love from a nanny. 

Post # 5
Member
839 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

This is wild. I can’t imagine how her children must feel

Post # 7
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

This makes me really sad. I feel bad for her kids because I can’t imagine she could’ve hid these feelings from them even if she didn’t tell them outright that she regrets them.

Post # 8
Member
1311 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I think some people should not have children and she is a good example of it. I somewhat can slightly see how she sees parenthood affected her. Heck I’m on a fence to have children of my own since FI has two preteens from his previous marriage and my patience seams to thin out at times. 

I can see how she sees children taking from her and not giving back…. That’s what children do. They are brought to this world and we make them feel and think that they are the centre of the world. Then slowly they learn that they are not special and just like everyone else. Until then… There is a lot of giving from the parent and not much getting. The only time you get back is when the children are old enough to understand certain things. 20’s, 30’s….

obviously she does not have enough love for her children to cope through it.

Post # 9
Member
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

I don’t really begrudge her not enjoying parenthood. What I do hold against her is KNOWING she would feel this way, and doing it anyway. Not to mention KNOWING her husband wanted children, and marrying him anyway.

The conversation ex-FI and I had in which he confessed he didn’t want children was the beginning of the end for us, because I do. It is never fair to marry someone with the expectation that you will “change their mind” about anything!

Post # 10
Member
2750 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think she is incredibly brave for speaking out.  I have great respect for her and agree with Lulume that she is a good example of certain people who shouldn’t have children.  It’s not a bad thing. We need to support more people who are childfree by choice.

 

Post # 11
Member
2457 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

While I am impressed with the fact that she was willing to write about this openly, it is quite disgusting. If I were one of the children reading this, I don’t think I’d EVER forgive my mother for not keeping it to herself.

The amount of disgust and resentment she seems to have really bothers me a lot… too bad she didn’t give them up for adoption to 2 parents who would’ve loved them. 

Post # 12
Member
2750 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@StephieBee:  Adoption is not a one person choice.  I highly doubt the father of those children would give them up so easily.  The tragedy of it all was that she felt pressured by society and her husband to follow the milestones of having children. 

I think she must have raised quite resilient children. My mother has told me before that she resents the idea of having children and that does not make me think less of her or feel bad about myself at all. It’s just the reality of her choices.  We are very close. My mother has not in anyway, guilted, me for having me. 

The woman or women who feel this way do not resent their children, they resent motherhood.

Post # 13
Member
4275 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Wow…that’s sad.

Post # 14
Member
2457 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@mrsbruff2b:  I totally get that, and I agree with you. It just makes me sad that the didn’t have 2 parents that were in love with them, instead of just 1. 🙁

Post # 15
Member
1639 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@mrsbruff2b:  +1

Even though she would have been much happier if she did not have children, she was obviously a perfectly fine mother, who did her best by them. She may not have loved or bonded with them as most mothers would, but I admire her full dedication to doing right by them, and find it ironic that even though she didn’t want them, she was a much better mother than many women I know.

As for her children knowing how she feels, really, they are probably just fine, well adjusted people. I certainly wouldn’t hold it against my mother if I knew she didn’t want  children, but had us anyway. No one is perfect, and I feel sad she would be condemmed for being willing to admit this part of herself.

Post # 16
Member
12250 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I don’t understand. I literally can’t understand how a person could regret their children!

But I understand that this is all pro-child free by choice, and I support everyone who makes that decision 100000%.

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