Mother upset she isnt walking me down the aisle :(

posted 3 years ago in Family
  • poll: Should I have my mom walk me down the aisle?
    Yes : (3 votes)
    14 %
    No : (18 votes)
    86 %
  • Post # 3
    374 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    Maybe describe to your mom how important it is to you that the two moms light the candles together and try to make her feel that that is just as important? But no matter what, don’t give in, you should have the person you want walking you down the aisle.

    Post # 4
    1302 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Don’t give in – you should have your sister walk you down the aisle if that is what you want.

    Post # 5
    1662 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Just stick to your guns. It’s nice of you to let her answer the question if she wants.

    The person who walks you is an important choice, I think. It’s about those last few minutes before you walk as well as the actual walk, and it makes sense to have whoever you consider to be your rock.

    I’m going to have my oldest brother walk with me. My father is estranged, and I just don’t consider my mom to be someone who always protected me. But my brother has always been there for me, giving me sex talks, intimidating my boyfriends and helping me move. He is much older than me, 22 years older and has daughters close to my age. That is who I chose, and nobody is going to change my mind.

    Just remember that you chose your sister for a reason, and picture the moments before you walk down the aisle. This moment is about you embarking on a new journey, not about your mom. 

    Post # 6
    2317 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

     I think the fact that she thinks she should be walking you down the aisle, as if it were her right just because she is your mother, is proof that she shouldn’t do it. If you aren’t close to your mum she shouldn’t walk you down the aisle. It should be who you want. 

    Next year we will be attending a wedding where the bride will be given away by her FBIL. So you have whoever you wish. 

    Post # 7
    789 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    @SaraLynne024:  It sounds like you’re doing what is right for you.  It also sounds as though you’re demonstrating a lot more maturity than your mother is.  Give your mom time to calm down then try talking to her again.  Maybe she could do one of the readings (if you’re having any during the ceremony) or something similar.  

    Post # 8
    3846 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I think you are working things out beautifully and I love the idea of having your twin sister walk with you.  Stick to your guns!!  

    Post # 9
    10906 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    @SaraLynne024:  You have chosen a very appropriate and traditional role in which to honor your mother, and you’ve even offered to allow her to act in the role of saying that it is she who is giving you away. I think what you have planned is entirely right. It makes complete sense that, of anyone else on this earth, you would feel closest to your twin sister and that you would want her to be the person who walks with you to the end of the aisle. I think that is very symbolic as well, given that, once you are united in marriage with your FH, he will assume a role that will be even closer to you.

    If you were refusing to allow your mother to play any type of formal or traditional role in your wedding, I could understand why she would be upset.  However, given what you have chosen to do, I think your mother needs to re-evaluate her response.  She is wrongly choosing to make this day about herself and not about you.

    Post # 10
    857 posts
    Busy bee

    @SaraLynne024:  there is something special about the bond between twins and I feel like of all people your mom should know this, after all she raised you both!!! Geez, no don’t give in. You have done nothing wrong here. I love that your sister is walking you down the aisle!!

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