(Closed) Mom-zilla driving me crazy…(long)

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
612 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Well to me it just sounds like your mother was mad and wanted to take her anger out on someone (which happened to be you). Are you close with your family? Why would the FI want to cut contact with your family? Does the FI consider his mom meddleing?

It concerns me more that the FI wants you to cut ties with your familys more than anything else in that post because that is usually a power play. Only you know your mother, but it sounds to me like she was just stressed and needed to vent. I’m sure it will all blow over.

Post # 5
Member
1315 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Oh no no no no. She didn’t belittle him like that in front of the baker? That’s awful. Who’s paying for your wedding? Actually, it doesn’t matter, they all need to take a step back. Maybe don’t ring any of them for a week or so, give yourself a break.

Post # 7
Member
612 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

AH, yes some mothers are like that. Is she paying for the wedding? She might just be stressing out about the wedding and will calm down when all is said and done. My mom has been annoying me, but I just flat out tell her I am too stressed to deal with her bull anymore and she can go whine to my sister if she feels the need. That usually ticks her off enough I don’t get a phone call for a week or so and I use that time to de-stress and get stuff done. 🙂

I mean if your mom is ALWAYS like this then I could see cutting off contact. If she just turned into this from wedding planning I would cut her some slack. Weddings are extremely stressful for the couple and their families. I just couldn’t see cutting my mother out of my life over something silly like a wedding.

Post # 8
Member
1315 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Is your dad a ‘sit back and let her get on with it, for a quiet life’ kind of guy? Would he be any use in getting her to rein it in a bit, no?

Post # 10
Member
612 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Seriously it sounds like you, your FI, and her need to sit down with a family counselor and deal with some of these issues. It really isn’t normal to either be rude/mean enough to someone to make them cry or to let your mother constantly make you cry. My mother has not made me cry since I was 18 and moved out because if she upsets me, I can just ignore her. 🙂

You can also just deal with it until July. Or confront her by saying everything you just said to us (she is making you miserable, that your upset she hates your FMIL, that she has made your wedding a nightmare, etc.). If you confront her, you can’t be upset/crying. You need to say everything very bluntly and stay calm so that the point gets across you are upset and she needs to shape up.

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