Post # 1
Hey Bees, I have (what I think is) a nice story about my mothers engagment ring, and thought I’d pop in here and share it with you.
So my mother and father divorced when I was 12 (on Christmas Day of all days!!) and my mother met someone else, who she got engaged too. They were in the process of planning a wedding when my mother got pregnant. She had my little sister when I was 15. Eventually the engagment broke off and they split up, and for some reason she kept the ring – he was crazy in love with her and I think he hoped for a long time they’d get back together. When I was about 17 she came into my room and handed me the ring telling me to pawn it and keep the money as she didn’t want it anymore.
I never sold the ring, and I never told her that I didn’t. It felt wrong for me to sell something that wasn’t mine. I popped it in my jewlery box and forgot about it. Anyway now I’m in the process of moving to another city and came home to visit my Dad and the subject of the ring came up as I’ve been going through my things. My Dad told me to go to town and get the ring checked out and make sure that it wasn’t really old/valuable.
So I popped into town today and visited a few jewlers. The ring is hallmarked at two years before my sister was born, which means it’s perfectly possible that the ring was brought new for my mother (they said you can’t ever really be 100% sure that it’s the year the ring was made, just that it was hallmarked that year) they also told me the city it was made in, and that it’s 9 carats. It’s not especially valuable.
The jewler said something quite nice while I was there, she said that engagment rings are given out of love, on the promise of marraige. It doesn’t matter that they didn’t get married, because it was given in love. She suggested that I keep it in the family as an heirloom.
I still don’t think the ring is mine. And have always kept it with the mindset of giving it to my sister when she’s old enough to understand and appreciate it. She’s only eight now, and if I give it her I think my mother would sell it herself or it’ll get lost, I have no way of contacting her Dad to ask him if he’d rather have it back. My mothers not very sentimental, and there’s almost nothing in the way of family heirlooms in our family, and I think it’s a rather lovely thing for her to keep, from a time where her mum and dad loved each other. Because when I look at that ring, all I see is my sister.
I’d like to apologise that there’s no spell checker on this computer, and I hope you enjoyed this story.
Post # 2
I think that you are right in wanting to give the ring to your little sister. After all, it was a gift from her father to her mother.
Some women would have pawned the ring or would have decided to keep it for themselves rather than giving it to their sister, but then they wouldn’t have had your good sense or your thoughtfulness.
Keep the ring safe and give it your sister on her 13th, 16th, 18th or 21st – whenever you feel that she would enjoy it and be mature enough to take good care of it. Just before you give it to her it would certainly be worth checking on whether the ring can be re-sized to fit your sister’s finger.
When you are ready, just give her the ring at the same time as you give her your birthday gift. It will be an extra surprise for her.
Post # 3
I have to say I am genuinely touched by your story, you have a big heart for wanting to give something so special to your sister. ^^
Post # 4
Thank you for sharing this with us. (:
Post # 5
I would wait until she is much older to give her the ring. I would say in her 20’s..I know it seems like a long time but when you give it to her you want to be sure that she is old enough to understand the depth of everything surrounding the ring. I would also not tell your Mother you have it. Might stir up some old feelings and she may want you to get rid of it.
This a beautiful story. You are a wonderful big sister to do this for your little sis.
Post # 6
MrsMN: What is probably important is how the little sister feels about the ring – that she knows that her parents loved each other and that she is the result of that love. I don’t think that there is any need to attach any other meaning to it. I wouldn’t wait until her twenties for her to somehow understand the depth of everything her parents went through. It was a failed relationship and it would be better for her just to enjoy a pretty ring, think of it as something that reminds her of her parents, and then create her own memories with it.
Also, gold jewellery as a gift to a teenager is a big thing. At 13 I was given a gold signet ring and I enjoyed it for years but, as time moved on, my style changed and I wore other jewellery. Yet I still remember the excitement of the day I was given it. I’m not suggesting that 13 is the best age but I think that waiting until the girl is in her twenties is too long a wait.
Post # 7
Supersleuth: I would still wait until her sister were older to give her the ring. That’s just my opinion. You yourself put 21 as a suggestion. That to me seems a resonable age to give a 9 carat ring to a sibling. She will be old enough to understand the sentiment of the ring and responsible enough to know to be careful with it. She will also be independent enough at this age to wisely choose what she would want to do with it. Again, this is all just my own take.
I’ve been given gold jewlery as a teenager, it is very exciting, and many of the pieces I still wear to this day but many of the more expensive pieces my Mother gave to me in my 20’s.Same thing with my other siblings, so I’m influenced by her own reasoning.
Still such a beatiful story no matter what age OP decides to gift the ring to her sister. She’s a wonderful sibling to have thought to do so.
Post # 8
9 carats isn’t particularly valuable? I am lost.
Post # 10
memorieslff: I’m assuming OP maybe meant .9?
Post # 11
That’s an extremely wonderful thing to do. Your story made me tear up a lil. Lol. It would be a lovely gift for maybe her 13th or 16th birthday.
Post # 12
I kept the engagment ring that my daughters father bought me. I thought that maybe my daughter would love it to have a piece of our small time as a family together. We split when she was 2 (I left) And I think she might want it when she’s in her 20’s or 30’s….
Post # 13
CherryAndWhite: Do you mean 0.9 carats? That’s not so small. What a lovely thing for you to keep it for your sister. Good on you. It’s nice to be reminded that your split up parents once truly cared about each other once. (9 carats would be quite a rock!)
Post # 14
Fizzy8: ponyrider: MrsRevolutionize: memorieslff: Sorry guys I don’t really know much about how rings work. All I can tell you is that as the lady read the hallmark she said that it’s a 9 carat gold ring (so I guess that could mean 0.9?). That doesn’t really mean much to me and I’m sorry I can’t better explain. Best I can do is take a picture for you, though I don’t think it’s very valuable, had it of been, I’d have proberbly tried to contact her Dad and check it was ok.
To everyone else, I’m really grateful you took the time to read this, I was quite excited to find out some things about it and that’s why I made this post. Our mother isnt very sentimental, and there are only 2 things I have that can be passed down to any future children I may have. As I understand, little sister doesnt have anything. I think it’s best to wait until she’s left home, so my mother doesnt sell it or anything. She’s got a great relationship with both her Mum and Dad so I think it’ll have far more sentimental value to her than it does to me, I’ll just keep it safe until it can continue it’s life with her 🙂
Post # 15
CherryAndWhite: “Nine carat gold” would likely refers to the quality of the metal, rather than the size of the stone. Gold is measured based on the percentage of gold to a reinforcing metal, such as nickel (i.e. 9k, 14k, 18k, 24k).
What a wonderful story…maybe you could even hang onto until the time your sister has a SO waiting to propose!