I think that people will understand why and not question it and the will focus on your FI and his mom at the time instead of dwelling on your father. The real question is, will it make you sad? I know you don't want to rob his mom of that moment but at the same time if it will make you cry because of pain rather than happiness maybe you should consider skipping it.
You sound happy enough for them though so I hope that you can find a lovely song and everything will be happy. 
Are you sure you want to have mother son dance? You may be okay with it now but when the moment comes you can possibly be overwhelmed with emotion. What about a brother, uncle, you can dance?
@wederly: I think it'll make me sad, but I think I'll be able to hold it together.. Plus my sister will be sitting by me so ill have someone next to me the whole time. I don't want her to think I'm the reason she's missing out on that moment. When do you think would be a good time to do the dance, before or after our dance? Thank you!!
@SamanthaLovesJames: I only have a sister and I'm not super close to my bil, my uncle won't be coming to the wedding because he's not on speaking terms with my aunt :( lol what a mess
Well, I dont know when the first dance usually happens but if you do hers before than your romantic moment can wipe away any sadness you might feel after watching them. Plus you could treat it like a cute little handing off moment sort of like the father walking the bride down the aisle. :D Have the DJ say something sentimental even about "how she was his first dancing partener and you...Blah blah blah" I'm really bad at thinking of sentimental stuff to say but yeah. Hope you got the picture. 
@wederly: that sounds cute! Ill have to run that by FI, hope he likes it! Thank u :)
How about son/mom dance first then at the end of the song....she hands him over to you and you both have your special first dance. Dont know just came up with it.
@SamanthaLovesJames: I love the idea... Seems happy and sweet not sad or awkward :)
@SamanthaLovesJames: That one is similar to my idea! Great minds....
@MrsRichard: I'm really happy I could help!
@wederly: haha ya you guys had the same idea and the more I think about it the more I love it
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So we're gonna do our first dance after dinner (don't wanna keep my guests hungry) .. I'm not having a father/daughter dance since my dad passed away years ago, my FI suggested skipping the mother/son dance to make me more comfortable but i don't want to keep that moment from her! So I was wondering when I should have the mother/son dance and also do you guys have any good song choices? They like country music, he's her oldest and first to be married so I wanna pick something great! Also do you think it's gonna be awkward/ make people feel weird that there isn't a father/daughter dance?
thanks bees!