Post # 1
So my future MIL was asked to pick a song for them to dance to. She kept coming up with these love songs that seemed more appropriate for a couple, not a mother/son. Her daughter (my future SIL) kept telling her she should pick another song.
I suggested Simple Man, by Lynyrd Skynyrd. It really fits who my FI is, and goes more with the rest of the type of music being played (we’re having a band, dances are our only recorded music). We would of course cut it, because it’s so long.
She has picked some random song on one of those “find a mother/son dance” website. You know, the random music you find on like free music for websites. It’s really bad, it just sounds so stupid. I know my FI would NOT want to dance to that.
Should I just let it go? She keeps saying she’ll dance to whatever I want her to, and I’m trying to be nice and staying “no, it’s your dance, you pick what you want”. I just know when I play that song for my FI he’s going to cringe! Plus, I’m pretty sure our guests are going to hear this song and thing “WTF?”.
I know in the grand scheme of things it’s just a flippin song, but really, when she played it for me I wanted to laugh.
Post # 3
Why don’t you ask your FI to pick out a song to suggest to his mother? I’m sure it would mean more to her coming from him. Other than than, I think you should leave it up to the two of them to decide. I know my FMIL cares a lot about the song, so we’re just letting her give suggestions and FI gives his input. I have nothing to do with it.
Post # 4
i would suggest letting the FI pick the song he wants to dance with his mother to?
since she doesent really care and you don’t want to feel like you’re making a choice for her, and want your FI to like the song
Post # 5
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
I agree with PP- get FI involved in the song selection. It sounds like she’s struggling to find something appropriate, so what if he found 2 or 3 songs, and let her pick?
DH and MIL danced to Louis Armstrong’s “What a Wonderful World”- it’s short, pretty, and completely non-offensive. 🙂
Post # 6
I would let my FI deal with it – has he heard the song she wants? I think this is one occasion where the bride shouldn’t really have a lot of say in the matter.
Post # 7
What does your FI think? He and his mother are the ones that should be selecting the song.
Post # 8
FI & FMIL should just pick the song out together. One less thing for you to worry about!
Post # 9
He should deal with it, not you. Just let him listen to the song and if he doesn’t like it, let him deal with his mother. Whatever happens though I think you need to let it go.
I had a similar issue with MIL. She pulled an old very plain dress out of the closet as what she wanted to wear for the wedding. I thought it was too understated for the MOG but said nothing. Hubs (FI at the time) had seen what my mother was wearing so I let him gently suggest she get something more fancy. However, if she would have stuck to her guns I would have let it go.
Post # 10
I agree that this needs to be between your FI and his mom. Next time she suggests something tell her you’ve realized he’s been left out and tell her that the two of them should decide and whatever they agree on is fine.
I’d also suggest that she read the lyrics of any song she chooses, just to give her some prodding because sometimes people only really hear one line and think it’s great but the rest of the song is totally innappropriate.
Post # 11
i wanted my fiance to choose it, but he deffered to his mom.
she has chosen the most god awful song ever- something called “the man you’ve become” by some lady.
i hate it.
i’m really not into the songs with the super literal lyrics. my dad and i are doing “what a wonderful world”- much more my style.
but there is nothing i can do. bitching about it would be bridezilla territory. alas, oh well!
Post # 12
I would let your FI choose the song. That way he can spin it as “I picked this for us mom” and she’ll love it because thought went into it.
If he doesn’t want to do that then give her the song she wants, in the grand scheme of things it’s just a mother/son dance, not your 1st dance etc.
Post # 13
Totally agree with PP’s. Your FI and his mom should be picking out the song, so I’d get him involved and get his opinion. Maybe they can sit down together and search out songs online and come to an agreement together. The song will be so much more meaningful to each of them if this is a mutual decision.
Post # 14
Get your FI involved! If you don’t think he’d like it, ask him.
Post # 15
Ugh we went through the same thing! My MIL has great taste in music but someone must have told her that she needs to pick a typical mother/son song (it was the one thing she got really weird about during the wedding planning). My husband (who is also a big music lover) couldn’t stomach dancing to “The Man You’ve Become” (I’m sorry but this song is terrible). After a lot of back & forth they both put together lists of songs & finally agreed on a Beatles song. I know in the grand scheme of things it doesn’t matter and you don’t want to ruin a relationship over a song. But being up there for 4 minutes seems like an eternity, especially if you are dancing to a bad song. They were both glad that they came to an agreement and danced to a song they both liked.
Post # 16
When we first started trying to figure it out, I asked FI what he wanted to dance to. He hadn’t put much thought into it so I started with some suggestions. He wasn’t really a fan, then I suggest “Simple Man” and he really liked it. Because he liked it, I suggested it to his mom (after she asked my opinon on her love song). She said she thought it was nice, but worried they couldn’t dance to it? Um…my FI doesn’t dance, he stands and sways. It doesn’t matter what the song is, he’d still dance the same…lol.
I played the song for him today and his first reaction was “it sounds like a disney movie, this sucks”. He called her up and asked her if that’s what she really wants to dance to. He doesn’t want to hurt her feelings, but he hates the song.
FWIW, the one she picked was “A Song For My Son”.
I cringe everytime I hear it!