(Closed) Mother/Son song, let it go?

posted 5 years ago in Music
  • poll: If you didn't like the choice AT ALL, would you veto your FMIL's song or let her go with it?
    Yes, tell her it sucks! : (4 votes)
    16 %
    No, suck it up and deal! : (14 votes)
    56 %
    Other, please explain : (7 votes)
    28 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    12833 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Why don’t you ask your FI to pick out a song to suggest to his mother?  I’m sure it would mean more to her coming from him.  Other than than, I think you should leave it up to the two of them to decide.  I know my FMIL cares a lot about the song, so we’re just letting her give suggestions and FI gives his input.  I have nothing to do with it.

    Post # 4
    Member
    503 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2018

    i would suggest letting the FI pick the song he wants to dance with his mother to?

    since she doesent really care and you don’t want to feel like you’re making a choice for her, and want your FI to like the song

     

    Post # 5
    Member
    4194 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

    I agree with PP- get FI involved in the song selection. It sounds like she’s struggling to find something appropriate, so what if he found 2 or 3 songs, and let her pick?

    DH and MIL danced to Louis Armstrong’s “What a Wonderful World”- it’s short, pretty, and completely non-offensive. 🙂

    Post # 6
    Member
    8164 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I would let my FI deal with it – has he heard the song she wants? I think this is one occasion where the bride shouldn’t really have a lot of say in the matter.

    Post # 7
    Member
    2702 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    What does your FI think?  He and his mother are the ones that should be selecting the song.

    Post # 8
    Member
    4513 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    FI & FMIL should just pick the song out together. One less thing for you to worry about!

    Post # 9
    Member
    1668 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    He should deal with it, not you.  Just let him listen to the song and if he doesn’t like it, let him deal with his mother.  Whatever happens though I think you need to let it go.

    I had a similar issue with MIL.  She pulled an old very plain dress out of the closet as what she wanted to wear for the wedding.  I thought it was too understated for the MOG but said nothing.  Hubs (FI at the time) had seen what my mother was wearing so I let him gently suggest she get something more fancy.  However, if she would have stuck to her guns I would have let it go.

    Post # 10
    Member
    286 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    I agree that this needs to be between your FI and his mom. Next time she suggests something tell her you’ve realized he’s been left out and tell her that the two of them should decide and whatever they agree on is fine.

    I’d also suggest that she read the lyrics of any song she chooses, just to give her some prodding because sometimes people only really hear one line and think it’s great but the rest of the song is totally innappropriate.

     

    Post # 11
    Member
    1831 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    i wanted my fiance to choose it, but he deffered to his mom.

    she has chosen the most god awful song ever- something called “the man you’ve become” by some lady.

    i hate it.

    i’m really not into the songs with the super literal lyrics. my dad and i are doing “what a wonderful world”- much more my style.

     

    but there is nothing i can do. bitching about it would be bridezilla territory. alas, oh well!

    Post # 12
    Member
    2188 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2024

    I would let your FI choose the song. That way he can spin it as “I picked this for us mom” and she’ll love it because thought went into it.

    If he doesn’t want to do that then give her the song she wants, in the grand scheme of things it’s just a mother/son dance, not your 1st dance etc.

    Post # 13
    Member
    205 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Totally agree with PP’s.  Your FI and his mom should be picking out the song, so I’d get him involved and get his opinion.  Maybe they can sit down together and search out songs online and come to an agreement together.  The song will be so much more meaningful to each of them if this is a mutual decision.

    Post # 14
    Member
    10454 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2014

    Get your FI involved! If you don’t think he’d like it, ask him. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    70 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Ugh we went through the same thing!  My MIL has great taste in music but someone must have told her that she needs to pick a typical mother/son song (it was the one thing she got really weird about during the wedding planning).  My husband (who is also a big music lover) couldn’t stomach dancing to “The Man You’ve Become” (I’m sorry but this song is terrible).  After a lot of back & forth they both put together lists of songs & finally agreed on a Beatles song.  I know in the grand scheme of things it doesn’t matter and you don’t want to ruin a relationship over a song.  But being up there for 4 minutes seems like an eternity, especially if you are dancing to a bad song.  They were both glad that they came to an agreement and danced to a song they both liked. 

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