Post # 1
My fiance is so unhelpful that I would scream if I knew it would make me feel better! We are long distance right now, and I do believe that helps his absnetee-ism excuses that he gives. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want a my fiance overly involved with opinions. What I want is for him to stop puttng things off. He said we would book a videographer after we got the quotes for the caterer. After finally meeting with the caterers he hounded me for their quotes that ended up taking about a week to get back from them. When I sent him the info, he was almost completely disintrested. He had no comments on price or food selection. All he wanted to do was make jokes. So I changed the subject by asking him what were we going to do about the videographer now that he had the catering quotes. He said he didnt feel like talking about it right then. When “later” comes a couple days later and I ask him again about a videographer he goes off on a tangent about what the purpose of the videographer is and why cant we have a friend just set up a tripod. Easy to say nothing got resolved out of that convo. Weeks later we havent made a decision because at this point he doesnt want to talk about wedding stuff all the time. I understand that, but in the mean time of him not wanting to bring up the “wedding” subject…vendors are getting booked on our date. He just doesn’t seem to understand any urgency. Not to mention that when we do talk we talk about other things, but am I not to bring up the wedding but once every 2 weeks? It is his money, otherwise I would just do stuff on my own.
Post # 2
my FH was like this at first too. i told him i would only take with him about wedding stuff one day a week, that we neither of us become too weighted down with it. some things i can handle on my own, and when i need his opinion, he prefers me to bring him 2-4 options and he picks, thats it. but i also gave him a typical checklist timeline, in our timeframe so he would see the urgency and items that are important. but i also dont bomb him with centerpiece ideas a year out etc. so its a game for a bit.
Post # 3
andixlyn: I totally understand taking breaks from constant wedding conversation too. Problem is that he knows when the deadlines are for things he would just rather to ignore them and go on about life. IMO I think he is just being lazy! And would rather I never brought up the wedding at all.
Post # 4
It sounds to me like he is worried about the costs that are accumulating. Maybe he said yes to some of these things, such a videographer, before realizing how very expensive they are and is now experiencing sticker shock.
Post # 5
We dicussed the bigger things, but I’ve done more of the planning. SO has had opinions about smaller things that didn’t matter much to me at all, [cake topper, ties for him & his guys, late night snack, ect]. Anytime he showed interest in a detail, I was sure to try my best to fit it into the wedding.
Post # 6
sjhanddab2014: I wish it was sticker shock. I told him a long time ago about the estimates for quality vendors such as the videographer. He is making me so mad I could just shake him if he were in front of me.