(Closed) Mounting Frustration: I love my mom but this is my wedding…right?

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

How close are you to her? Does she know how you feel about that? Because at present it looks like the best way to do this would be to sit her down and tell her what you told us; that you want to know why she doesn’t like things and you want to tell her why you DO. You appreciate her generosity but you’d like the wedding to be more “you”. See what she says. If she’s not at all receptive and you want this day to more closely reflect who you and your FI are, it’s possible that you may need to pay for everything yourself, maybe going back to doing a DW in Vegas like you’d originally planned.

Post # 5
Member
520 posts
Busy bee

Awww, it’s a tough situation.  It is entirely possible that because mom and dad are paying, they feel that can “control” the situation.  It sounds as though you are going to have an elaborate and beautiful wedding.  If the origianal Vegas budget was climbing to over $200k……I mean wow,  that’s a house.  So, mom and dad are going to be paying big bucks.  I imagine it will be a showpiece wedding for them….meaning their friends will come….look how lovely and expensive everything is. 

I don’t know what the answer is.  You stated that your mom’s feelings get hurt easily, but what about your feelings and your say so in what will be the most important day in your life?  You may need to stand up to her just a little bit.  If she is shooting ideas down (like the bamboo) you at least are entitled to an explanation as to why she doesn’t like it or think it will work.

Everything will work out…..best of luck to you and hugz….

Post # 6
Member
46141 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think your Mom may just be letting herself get carried away with the excitement of your wedding.

It’s hard for Moms to give up their “know it all” role in their daughters’ lives.

Depsite the fact that your Mom may have hurt feelings, I suggest you need to sit down with your Mom and have a heart to heart talk about how you are feeling. She likely thinks that she is being really helpful, whereas you want to have some time to do some planning and make some decisions that will make it “your” wedding.

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