Post # 1
Hello Bees! I thought I might start this thread just for fun and see what everyone’s take is on this.
When you either moved in with your SO/FI or got married, how did you figure out your living arrangement? Did you just move in with him, or did he move in with you? Did you both get a new place to start your lives together?
I ask this because when my SO and I get married, he is going to sell his home and we are going to purchase a new home to live in together. We figure that this is the best option for us because if I were to move in with him, it would be as if I were moving into his space that he has “made his own” for years now. He has a nice home, but it makes sense for us to buy a new home that we will “make OUR own” together, you know?
So, what did you ultimately decide to do, and why?
Post # 3
Ours was kind of complicated – he was moving to my city from across the country after graduation, so we stayed in place until my lease ran out (roommates and all!). But I voted we got a new place, because we always knew that that situation was temporary and we planned to find a new apartment we could start fresh in that we both loved.
Post # 4
He moved into my apartment, then a year later we bought a house together.
Post # 5
We’re planning on selling my house and me moving into his after the wedding and then buying a new place in about a year or two. Honestly, I think I would rather buy a place that’s ‘ours’ right now, but we think that selling one house and planning a wedding is enough for one year.
Post # 6
DH was still living in the same apartment he shared with his ex when he and I started dating and I really hated the idea living in the same place as she used to, so it was a pretty easy decision, we got a new place!
Post # 7
It was a combination of him moving into my place and us renting a place together.
His mom lived nearby and his lease was up before mine so he went to live back at home for a bit.
We went looking for new places together, but we were only looking for places that I could afford on my own and mine was the only name on the lease.
However we moved in together to that place and split the rent. So it was “my” place but we split the rent. This made my parent’s happier because if something had happened I would have a place of my own I could afford and he would go back to his mom’s house.
1 year later, we picked a new place to rent together.
Post # 8
I moved into his apartment. My lease was ending and I was going to move back in with my parents but I moved in with him instead. Eventually we rented a house and now we own a house together.
Post # 9
@bigcitybee: He has a nice home, but it makes sense for us to buy a new home that we will “make OUR own” together, you know?
That actually does not make much sense to me. If that’s the only reason, it sounds like a huge waste of money imo. I think it makes sense to buy a new place if its for some otherwise unchangeable reason like location or size. I would certainly not sell his place if it were nice and big enough and in a good location and buy a new one just to make it more “ours”. It is more than possible to move in and change things up and incoporate your style and make it a nice comfortable home for the both of you.
Post # 10
I moved out of my parents house when I turned 18, and into the apartment we chose together, he wasn’t 18 yet so I rented the apartment and lived by myself for a couple months until he turned 18, and then I added him to my lease and he moved in with me.
Post # 11
FI rented and I lived with my parents. I’m against renting so we bought a home together and moved in.
Post # 12
He rented out his house and moved in with me in my rental for about a month while we looked for a house to buy. He signed the mortgage and I moved in, and a year later we got engaged.
Tip: I don’t recommend moving into someone else’s established space. No matter how much time you spend there, it can be very difficult to make the transition to living there permanently in someone’s space.
Tip: Don’t sign a mortgage unless you’re engaged, married, or have a legal document explaining how it’ll go if you break up.
Post # 13
DH moved into my home as I own and he was renting. Living here together has saved us quite a bit of $$. I don’t think it bothered him too much that we were moving into “my” house. I think he realized that financially it was the most sound thing to do.
Now that we’ve been here a while, we are in the process of getting another home together. Now is not the time to try to sell but an excellent time to buy. We are keeping my home and renting it out. We are buying another house double the size of this one that will be our “until kids are raised and grown” home located in suburbia.
I know some folks are more driven by the emotions tied to moving into someone else’s home. I think we looked past that in order to put ourselves in a better financial situation.
Post # 14
I was able to save up a downpayment after college and buy a condo 3.5 years ago, when I moved out of my parents’ house. DH hasn’t done as well financially and lived with his parents until we got married, so of course he moved in with me. (I decided long ago that for religious reasons cohabitation just wasn’t for me.. but I respect anyone else who wants to.)
I actually asked him last week if he felt like it was ‘our’ place, and not just mine. He said basically yes. We were dating when I bought the place so I sort of asked him then if he could see us living there. I also made sure to leave enough open space (like an extra bedroom) for an eventual husband to put his things, as well as spread some of his personality throughout the house. It also doesn’t hurt that we replace our bed and a few other pieces of furniture after the wedding.
Post # 15
FI moved in with me. He was having some issues with his landlord at the time and so he had no intention on staying where he was anyway. My house was a tad bit larger and it just made sense. Plus, like @KatNYC2011:‘s parents, mine felt good knowing that I was somewhere that I would be able to remain regardless if anything should happen.
Although we both really love where we live, we plan to eventually move. We’re outgrowing our current house (which is small to begin with) and plan to extend our family at some point down the road so we’ll need more space. Until then, though, it doesn’t make any sense to move just for the sake of having something that is “our’s.” My home became our home the day he moved in. The space has evolved to reflect both of us and not just me.
Post # 16
I wish we could buy a new home but both of our current properties are upside down. We’re renting mine & living in his. Even though it’s the house his ex-wife picked out.
Down the road we’ll purchase a place of ours, but right now there are a lot of other factors, like sharing custody of his kids, and being close to aging parents.