Weddingbee boards

So my FI's family lives 4 hours away and they are throwing me a shower the weekend of July 23rd, which is great b/c FI is turning 30 on the 23rd and we'll be out in his hometown with his family celebrating him and my bridal shower.Super, no drama, lots of fun!

My sister (MOH) and I set a date for my at home shower on August 7th after discussing with my mom. Great...or so I thought. My mom called me yesterday and said I should think about changing the date b/c my 1st cousin is going on vacation, my 2nd cousin has another wedding and therefore won't attend which means her mom (my great aunt) probably won't attend etc. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I got so pissed. I'm not a bridezilla (hate that word) by any means but it infuriates me that my mom thinks I should move things around to accomodate other people. It's my wedding shower and all my BM's already agreed to that date etc. I said I didn't care if they show up but they darn well better send a gift because I have now gone to ALL of my cousin's showers (wedding, actual wedding-wasn't invited to the reception!, baby, housewarming, kids birthdays etc) and spent a lot of money and time. My extended family has a tendency to "forget" about me, my sis and bro. We all used to exchange Christmas gifts then once my aunts kids got older they said forget it...but we (me & siblings) were all still young and wanting gifts (we were kids!). So they do it just so their kids get stuff then change what we've done in the past once it doesn't suit them anymore.

So after I cooled off I called mom this A.M. and told her we can change it to 7/31 if needed. She then says well X & Y may not be available that weekend but we'll see. Seriously? I don't even care if certain people can't come, it's impossible to find a date where 100% of your guest list will be there! Then she said I should check the date with BMs um no I'm not getting into this, MOH/Sister can email everyone and explain and ask if they are free. I'm planning the wedding/reception and already want to rip my hair out, I cannot possibly take on any more, let alone a shower b/c if that was the case I wouldn't have one.

Sorry for the vent I just needed to get it out there.

You definitely need to sit with your mom and explain that it'll be impossible to find a date everyone can agree on. I have a similar thing going on with my bachelorette party. No one had the same schedule - other weddings, work trips, family vacations. I told suggested she do it on a Friday (instead of Sat) and told her who was important - my BMs and her. Otherwise, it would have been too complicated for her to try to accomodate all my other friends. Some people just can't make it. They don't dislike you any more for it. If the day is an issue, why not suggest another day like Sat instead of the typical Sunday?

But I would tell her who it is important to consider as far as schedules go from your perspective. Like, it's important that your mom, sisters, BMs are available. Maybe a grandma or specific cousins. I think it should be a date that is convient to those people involved in the wedding or close to you. If the rest of them want to "ignore" you, then that's a poo-poo on them and don't let it bother you. Yeah, it sucks, but we all know you can't please everyone.

Sounds like you are already negotiating with mom and the fam. Glad things are going smooth for your FI's side's shower!