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HAve you thought about maybe having a courthouse wedding and then having the wedding for everyone else at the normal time?
I'm with Josalyn on this one.
Although, I do have to say that I think it's a little crazy that your FIL is threatening not to attend your wedding unless you use his catering service! ???? That seems kinda weird and mean!
But considering that it seems like you care about the opinion of others (which is ok) would your religion be ok with you having a civil ceremony so you can live together, and then the religious ceremony after?
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If you don't have any advice for me thats okay; I'm just really upset with this whole situation and stressed, and I know that these aren't the best questions to be asking of strangers, I really don't want to speak to friends/other family about it and cause a scene until it's decided.
So, its really very long and complicated, but my basic situation is this:
We were planning a May 2010 wedding, but due to religious reasons we have the choice of either finding seperate apartments for the next year or moving the wedding up. Neither of us want to move into our own places, and to make it more complicated we just got a bigger appartment, and we can't afford to support the raised rent of our new place and a smaller place as well. And we haven't sent out invites or STDs yet, or booked a ceremony/reception area, but our families and friends are expecting the May wedding. Also, the backlash from his dad's family for moving the date closer would be horrendous. They threatened to not come to our wedding if we didn't use their catering service, I hate to think of what they would say if we suddenly moved our date closer, especially for a religion they don't belong too. My mom is the one who brought the idea of moving the wedding date up, but it makes even her nervous of us being "too hasty".
Besides his family, my entire workplace knows when I'm getting married, a gal who got engaged right after me planned her wedding so it didn't land on the same date as mine. My workmates, while sweethearts, are gossipy and nosey, and the whole building will be after me as the the why's and how's and the whole shebang.
Other than what we're serving and where, everything else is pretty well planned out. Moving the date would mean a few changes, but not many. The other thing is I know what dress I want, but I haven't ordered it yet. Moving the wedding up to say, fall, would put a serious time crunch the dress, and I don't know if my shop will work with it.
Has anyone else gone through the stres of this kind of descision? Similiar one? Anything at all, even some encouragement would be great, cause I'm at the end of my rope!