Moved in with SO's mother – HUGE mistake

posted 3 years ago in Family
  • poll: What should I do?
    Have SO talk to them to try to fix the pot smell problem. : (14 votes)
    14 %
    Cut your losses and move even though SO doesn't want to. : (85 votes)
    83 %
    Other (explain) : (4 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2865 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I personally couldn’t be in that environment.  I would have been packign up to move before the first U-hall was gone.  I think it’s going to sour your relationship with his family to keep living there, and 5 adults in the same house unless it is huge never seems to work out well. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    4395 posts
    Honey bee

    Pot smells. A lot. Even if they tried to “clean up the smell”, it’s still going to smell like pot. So if you can’t stand it and it’s making you miserable, I would move out.

    Post # 5
    Member
    889 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @__always:  Gross!!!! Run, and run fast. That smell is absolutely disgusting..and when it doesn’t reek of pot, I’m sure the rotten food and garbage doesn’t do much for the nose either.!

    Post # 6
    Member
    1179 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    can’t you guys move somewhere else that is still close to your SO’s work?  That’s what I would do.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1310 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2015

    @__always:  I don’t think it’s worth talking to them about the pot smell. It’s not like they’re going to quit tomorrow, so the smell is always going to be there even if you can’t identify the source. I’d get the hell outta there.  And tell your SO that 25 mins is nothing because it could be worse! My SO works 55 hrs per week, wakes up at 5:30 am every day to drive 1 to 1.5 hrs to work and then again 1 to 1.5 hrs to get home at like 7:30 pm.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1745 posts
    Bumble bee

    I think you should suck it up, leave, and move again. Trying to get them to alter their behavior would be an exercise in futility, most likely. I also doubt that there is much they could do about the pot smell unless they just stopped using it, which doesn’t sound like it’s going to happen. 

     

    I know your SO doesn’t want to move, but it’s probably better to get out of the situation now. You can’t live the way you are now without it taking a big toll on your well being and possibly even your relationship with your SO. 

     

    Post # 9
    Member
    2305 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    Oh heeeeeeeeeck no.

    I find marijuana to be completely nasty, and I absolutely refuse to be around it. I have friends who smoke, but they know that I don’t want to be around them when they do it and respect that. I can’t imagine LIVING around it.

    Is marijuana even LEGAL in your area?? Because I sure as heck would not want to even take the TINIEST chance of getting into legal troubles because of someone else’s drug habit. (And also if they’re on the verge of losing their house, why the heck are they spending money on a drug habit?!)

    I’d be running for the hills, girl.

    Post # 10
    Member
    5697 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    UGh that sounds disgusting and awful.

     

    Unfortunately, beacuse you moved into THEIR house, I don’t think you can keep them from smoking pot, or have them change their ways. There’s a chance that you guys can talk to them and say you’ll have to live elsewhere if they don’t make changes, and they might, beacuse they flat out can’t afford the house without you. Or they might not. And if they don’t, you’ll have to move.  It’s definitely not something that is worth fighting with them on beacuse like I said it’s their house and you probably won’t win.

    ETA: I always find it extremely ironic when people are so broke but can afford to spend loads of money on drugs. what the heck…

     

    Post # 11
    Member
    6503 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I would tell them it needs to stop or you’re gone. Sounds like they need your rent to keep the house so that might get their attention.

    Do you work? Can you move most of the stuff so your SO doesn’t need to spend his days off doing it? Why do you need to move 25 minutes away from your SO’s work? Aren’t there any closer places?

    Post # 13
    Member
    11772 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Ugh. I’d be high-tailing it out of there, with or without him!

    Post # 15
    Member
    1881 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    You had to have known this when you moved in, right? While I agree that this must be SO uncomfortable (and gross), you also have to see it from their stand point and realize that this is their home and this is how they live their life. While it’s not how you want to live (and neither would I) if you can at least try to think of it from their point of view it may at least reduce your anger. Being angry and upset won’t help, and will only make the situation worse for you and strain SO’s relationship with his mom. The best course of action would be for SO to please ask them to maybe keep a “smoking” jacket outside/in the garage so that it won’t bring the smell in. In the meantime, you and SO make a plan to move within the next 3 months.

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