Moved to New City for Boyfriend, Feeling Lonely

posted 3 years ago in Long Distance Relationships
Post # 2
812 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I moved to a city about an hour from home 7 years ago (when I graduated college). I didn’t move for a guy, but I met my SO a few months into moving here and started hanging out with his friends (since those were the first people I met). I remember feeling really lonely too because my friends were hours away and I didn’t really feel like his friends were my friends. So, I made myself make my own own friends anywhere I could. I found out that the easiest place to meet people were at work. Do you work with anyone around your age?  It takes time, but you will meet people. I have to say that my best friends are still my college friends, but I’ve made a few solid friendships here and it’s been really nice. Just keep active and be outgoing. Talk to people at work, at the gym, anywhere. It will get better. 

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by  citysparkle.
Post # 3
1350 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter's Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

I moved to a new city for work – without a relationship either! I decided fairly early on that I needed a hobby, so I took up roller derby…which has been the best thing I ever did.  It has been a brilliant way to meet new people and I’ve been lucky enough to find a league which is incredibly tight – it really is like a giant family.  im not necessarily saying that derby is the right thing for everybody (although I would tell anyone to give it a go!) but a hobby or team sport of some sort would be a good place to start I reckon.

Post # 4
6964 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

How about taking some classes with your puppy. You might meet some new people, make some play dates at the dog park, etc.?

Post # 5
360 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

That’s understandable. It’s important to know that what you are feeling isn’t weird. I moved across the country for my BF (of 8 yrs) and even had a law school to join when I got here but I still felt lonely. We were living together (which was really good) but he worked 16+hour days and I was busy with school so it was different.

You have a lot of good things going for you so remembering those and being grateful helps to being happier – like a good job, nice apartment, dog, bf and a NICE CITY!

Try I went on it even years after living in my new city to meet friends that weren’t in law school and also to have company at events I wanted to attend (local festival but I had no one to go with since I didn’t want to ONLY do things with my fiance and I didn’t know people who would want to go) so I met up with people from meetup there. 🙂

I also found a flash mob group on there that I did flashmobs with which was fun. 

It takes time to build relationships/friendships so some of these experiences might be superficially fun but going to events/joining hobby groups is a good start!! Also, do any of your friends know people in your new area? Have them connect you via facebook. A friend of your friend can easily become a new friend for you or at least invite you out with their friends and maybe one of them will click. Also, try inviting your old friends to visit you rather than you always going back — even if they come one at a time, this will let you explore your city with another new person and help make your new place feel more like Home!

Post # 6
812 posts
Busy bee

I completely understand. I moved from sunny California where my friends and family are, to cold, wet Washington where I know nobody so that my then SO (now FI) could transfer his job. To top off the cake, his work takes him out of town roughly every other day for two days at a time. Grrr! In this process I’ve realized the older you get, the harder it is to make friends. Have you tried It has a lot of different groups designated to all different areas. It’s a way for you to get out and meet new people and you are doing something for you instead of relying on the BF. Also groupon has discounts prices for plays, restaurants, and classes (pottery,glass blowing). Also dog classes and dog play dates is another way to get out and meet new people. Good luck lady and know you aren’t alone!

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