Post # 1
My boyfriend & I watched He’s just not that into you last night on TV, and I don’t think either of us knew what we were in for. Did anyone else see it & want to discuss?
His takeaway from the movie was that Ben Affleck didn’t want to marry Jennifer Aniston until she was okay with being with him and not being married. I think he was missing the point, that she had broken up with him over it. But he was loyal and helped her with her family even after they broke up. They had a good thing, BF told me pointedly.
And, we both thought the blond guy was really dumb. I hated him for cheating and I thought he just made excuses for himself. BF thought he did it to escape from the marriage that he felt forced into. But there are more mature ways to deal with life when you find yourself in less than ideal circumstances.
Anyway we didn’t plan to watch it but I really enjoyed the movie and it made for good discussion about the way relationships work with my boyfriend.
Post # 3
I agree that there were some good takeaway points. It’s been like 2 years since I’ve seen it, so I can’t remember all the details . . . I think the bottom like of its message is basically be honest with yourself (and the person you’re dating) and don’t try to force something that just isn’t there when you’re dating. That, and the fact that, if you’re leading a double life on some level or in some way and betraying another person, it *is* wrong and it’s going to come back to get you.
Post # 4
I really don’t feel that movie does a waiting woman justice- I am sorry, I didn’t like it. I was very happy when Jennifer left, as I should feel anyone unhappy should do but I was so upset when she went back to him and said she doesn’t need to be married to be with him. I felt like she was setting aside her wants and needs to be with a man who wouldn’t meet them. Very weakin my opinion as NO MAN should be given so much power. I am glad the guy proposed in the end, but it isn’t going to happen like that in real life and so I would rather see waiting women take charge of their lives and their futures instead of give it all to a man (regardless of how she feels about him) who isn’t giving her as much.
Post # 5
@armychica06: Definitely agree with this. I know it must be difficult after investing so much, but the bottom line is that every person deserves to be treated with honor and respect — even by ourselves. When Jennifer went back to Ben, she was essentially saying she was willing to settle for less than being treated with honor and respect, and she wasn’t going to treat *herself* as a women of value to be honored. It’s sad, because we as women know in our hearts that that’s what we’re doing when we do it. I think the marriage issue is not just about disagreements over a piece of paper, but it’s ultimately an issue of honor and respect in the heart of the party who wants to be married.
So, yeah, things worked out here, but like you say it’s not always that way.
Post # 6
@armychica06: I think the take away on that was if you truly love someone, you will learn what sacrifices you can make and still be able to be happy. He was there for her when her dad died (I think that’s what happened, its been a while since I’ve seen the movie), and I think him helping so much, after seeing how selfish her BILs are, made her realize that in her case, love really is enough. And you know what? It made Ben realize that marriage truly makes her happy, so he was willing to do what it took to make her happy. I actually think it was a really good portrayal of the sacrifices some people make for the one they love, even if it isn’t typical results
Post # 7
I was happy too when Jennifer left. I like Gennifer Goodwin the actress, but didn’t like her character. Drew Barrymore was misused.
Post # 8
Thanks for all your feedback. I agree it wasn’t that realistic a portrayal of waiting, but I did still enjoy it. Their story seemed the least realistic of the individual stories. I think I liked the movie because it wasn’t a typical romantic comedy where people overcome some trouble and kiss at the end, and you never find out the rest of the story.
MrsSl82be> I like the takeaway you said. That interpretation allows both of them some dignity (in the movie)
Post # 10
I definitely agree with @LondonAmericana: & @armychica06:. I didn’t like that Jennifer went back to Ben. Everything shouldn’t be sacrificed for a man.. and, for me at least, marriage is not one of those things that should be sacrificed.
Post # 11
@MrsSl82be: Eh, I guess I disagree because if he really loved her, he would have sacraficed marriage for her. Eh- maybe I just view it differently. She wanted to be married, he has no good reason not to be, and she was unhappy because of that- there should have been no reason for him to go back to her when he wasn’t fufilling her needs.
Post # 13
I tend to agree with @armychica06: and @LondonAmericana: in that it was disapointing to see the Jennifer character go back to Ben after she had been clear in what she wanted for the future and he totally disregaurded her wants in that situation. He was only doing what he wanted, and staying with her without marrige is what was easy for him, but was not what she wanted out of life. She felt strongly enough to end her relationship over it- no small matter- and he didn’t seem to realize how important it was until she said she could be with him without being married- ie changing her wants for him- that he could be satified with giving her what she wanted. Not sure if that makes any sense, but hopefully the point gets accross :-).
Post # 14
Meh, I don’t think it’s fair to judge Ben’s character too much for not wanting to get married. It wasn’t just to HER, it was in general. Too often we side with the woman because it’s our point of view, but I think we also need to consider the other side. Ben’s character didn’t believe in marriage, he didn’t want to be in one, and I think it’s great that he stood his ground (at least at first). Saying that Ben’s character disregarded what Jennifer wanted in life isn’t fair – she was also asking him to do something he truly didn’t want. It wouldn’t be fair to either of them to force themselves into either one of the situations. And that’s why the broke up. He’s not a bad guy! But I did like how he was totally there for her during her dad’s heart attack recovery and I think it’s awesome that they were able to figure it out in the end.
I COULDNT STAND Gigi. She drove me completely insane and was such a ball of stereotypes about single girls. I actually didn’t like any of the characters in this movie because everyone had such issues. Jennifer Connelly’s character was completely neurotic!
Post # 15
@KristenGotMarried: OMG I could not stand Jennifer Connelly’s character. I kept thinking “shit it’s no wonder he cheated on her” she was so cold and rigid and way too uptight.
Post # 16
@KristenGotMarried: I agree with this sentiment. Gigi was such a disaster, so desperate, piecing together a business card so she could call some guy who she didn’t even really like. In the end, she did learn some things, but watching her be such an idiot at the party (I don’t know anyone who would THROW themselves into hosting some guy she like’s party!) was painful.
Gigi does relay the most important message of the movie in that girls need to realize that they are usually the rule, and not the exception and in this way, they should always respect themselves enough to know that if they are in bad relationships, nothing is going to miraculously change. And definitely not on their time-line or terms, so they are best finding someone who is truly ready to honor them and treat them like gold.
In all honesty, I really adapted the strategy of the book and felt SO much better knowing it wasn’t me and that the right guy would just blow everyone else out of the water. And call when he said he would and never get enough of me!