Post # 1
FI and I are considering moving out of state after the wedding. We’ve both lived in the same small town (500 ppl) all our lives, went to schools in state, and all of our family lives here in the same town. Well after some disputes about the family farm, FI is ready to pack up and move south. I have always wanted to move south, wanted to go to college in Arkansas, Kentucky or Alabama but chose to stay here with FI. FI was just informed that his current job has openings in another state and is ready to pack up. I will be attending graduate school next year and really don’t care where I go, but there’s a school nearby the job opening. I’m worried it’s a rash decision and after a month he’ll miss home/the farm/family but he assures me he won’t. We just bought a house here a few months ago but the housing market is a lot cheaper there with more options so I’m not too worried. I am worried about leaving my family who I see weekly and the free future childcare (my mom). But all our friends are graduating college and moving away so it’s not likely they’d be around anyway. I just really don’t know what to do. My grad school apps are due soon so I need to make a decision. Anyone have advice/experience?
Post # 3
I say go for it. Now is the time you’re really flexible to do these things – don’t worry about kids you won’t have for the next 2-3 years anyways. Thats time enough to travel the world twice if you wanted! If this was always a desire for you, and you have a place in mind where the odds of both of you finding something to do (school, work) are fairly good I don’t see why you wouldn’t at least try it. I’m very close to my parents and used to see them all the time until I moved halfway around the world. Now I live closer but it’s no where near driving distance – more like a 3hr flight. You get used to it and you grow up in a way that is different from being on your own in this way. I think it’s a great learning experience. What’s the worst that can happen? Really? Go 🙂 You’ll have school too for making a new network – trust me, that’s not a bad situation at all for starting over.
Post # 4
I had the chance once for FI and I to just pack up and move down south out of our small town but I hesitated because it was just too risky… biggest regret of my life.
If he can get employment lined up and there is a school option for you I would say jump in a go for it. There is no feeling like looking back years later and realizing you should’ve moved. If you end up hating it you can always move back later on or you may decide you want to go elsewhere!
You’ll make it work to balance seeing your family when they are so far away!
Post # 5
go for it. if it doesn’t work out, you can always move back.
adventures are good.
Post # 6
Thanks everyone! I guess we don’t really have a reason not to, and you guys are right we will never have this much flexibility again. I’m going to talk to FI tonight and tell him that if he wants to move I’m on board. I’ve been looking at houses all morning and I am completely shocked at how much cheaper everything is, it’s almost worth it just for that! lol I’m going to apply for the grad school there and see what happens (fingers crossed!).
Post # 7
@MrsN14: Well– I am biased because I live in the South, but I can’t see why someone wouldn’t want to move here! Maybe political reasons, but that’s about all I can think of. We have nice people, good food, warmer weather, college football, great universities with a lot of tradition, lower cost of living, general slower pace of life and I just all around enjoy it. I agree with PP’s, now is a good time and give yourself a trial period– if you don’t like it, move back!
Post # 8
@MrsN14: Go for it! If you hate it you can always move back. I think living away from home is a great experience everyone should have at some point in their lives.
Post # 9
@MrsN14: If there is any time, now is it, while you don’t have kids. The more “settled” into life you get, the harder it is to move.
DH and I moved during collge (back when were just dating) 12 hours from my hometown, which is where we met/lived, and where my whole family was. It was difficult, but it also brought us A LOT closer. We knew we had to depend on each other. The area we were in sucked, and I hated that aspect. We did move back to our town to settle down, and see my family weekly. However, now as an adult, if DH came home and wanted to move I would consider it.
Post # 10
I think living somewhere other than where you grew up is a great experience to have. I moved all the way across the country (CA to MA). My DH has lived in the same town all his life and we’re hoping to move south soon (Probably NC… lower cost of living but higher pay for my line of work, adn even DH’s). Eventually we want to move back to CA because for me it will always be home, even though the people change, the place itself changes. I love CA. DH also really loves it.
Post # 11
Is there anyway that you can rent out your current house or hold on to it at least temporarily if you do move? I think it would be a good idea not to immediately sell it seeing as you just bought it, and in case you move and it turns out that you regret your decision. Or even if the move turns into a few years while you go to grad school. Once you have children, you might really want to be close to your family again.