Post # 1
FI and I both currently own our own homes. While I own a small townhouse that I love, he owns the big four bedroom, double car garage ‘family’ house. It makes much more sense to move into his house after we get married.
The problem is his place is a total bachelor pad. He’s quite excited about me moving in because most of my stuff is new, or at least not hand me downs from my college days. Once I move in, I’d like to do some redecorating to make the place more ‘ours’. I don’t want to insult him though and take over his house, even though I know it won’t be only ‘his’ anymore.
I guess I’m just looking for advice on how to blend your ‘stuff’ when one of you is moving into the other’s place and not getting a new place together.
Post # 3
Tell him what you just told us.
You want to make the place yours as a couple, not his or hers individually.
Just having your own furniture will make a difference, but then you should together make decisions about other chances. Picking colors, curtains, pictures etc. Choose togethere where things go. Its the team effort that makes it the “ours”.
If he seems not very receptive to the idea, pick one room or project and start with that and you can slowly redocorate together as you live there after some time. Sometimes just chance can be a bit daunting so taking it slow is a good approach.
Post # 4
I’m in the same boat. Or a smilar one anyway… We’re taking the “gradual” approach, though… Me moving in my stuff and entering my input gently, little by little. Plus, we talk lots and run stuff by each other, so hopefully this will smooth out the process… Good luck!
Post # 5
If he is happy that you have new things, I don’t sense there will be a lot of resistance. All couples have to go through this process of combining their posessions and merging styles.
Just be sure it is a joint process and he should be fine with it.
Post # 6
I had to go through this when we moved in together and we have moved since into a newer place. I always use http://www.floorplanner.com and lay out everything so we can talk about it. My husband is a VERY visual person and i get uber annoyed by the blank stares i get when i say things like ‘so we will move the brown club chair into the den facing east’. It’s been very helpful and you can do everything to scale!
ps. i’m also a huge nerd … ;-P