(Closed) Moving In

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
652 posts
Busy bee

@Zephi:  We didn’t combine our bank accounts, but we have a separate joint account where we pay for wedding stuff together. In that case, we can both keep track of spendings while having our own money to spend. 

It’s all about mutual agreement. Most arguements stem from money, not dirty socks laying around haha. 

 

Good luck and enjoy the ride!

Post # 4
Member
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Make sure you know each other’s morning routines, so your toothbrush isn’t locked in the bathroom while he is showering, etc. Work it out, so you aren’t needlessly late to work LOL.

If you move something that belongs to another person, make sure to tell them where it is!

Come to an agreement now, about what needs to be done, and when. He may think the lawn needs to be perfect, you may think all laundry needs to be done daily. There is no “right” answer, so don’t fight about it, just come to a consensus and understanding.

You should both realize you will hate at least some of the other’s persons possessions. Either compromise or get rid of both things you hate, lol. 

Spraypaint can solve some problems of items being the wrong color and not blending in!

Post # 5
Member
2390 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Have separate bathrooms and a king-size bed.  That’s all I’ve got.

Post # 6
Member
437 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

@oneofthesethings:  This made me LOL! My SO and I are both plus sized, and we fight over a full-size bed. It’s not a very good time! We do have two bathrooms, but we both get ready in the morning in the same bathroom… Fortunately we’re at the point in our relationship where we can jokingly fight over the mirror and the toothbrushes and that works for us!

OP, I would say just try to establish a routine together… And as a PP said, neither of you is ever “right.”  Just try to compromise, and always be fair 🙂

Post # 7
Member
905 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Try as hard as you can to not let the irritating habits breed resentment. For months after we moved in together he kept leaving his frigging wet towel on the bed in the mornings. It. Drove. Me. Crazy. I mentioned it a few times, but he kept doing it. It’s small and I kept telling myself to just let it go–breathe, there’s no reason to pick a fight over something so silly. After he saw me calmly folding it and putting it back in the bathroom enough times he started to do it on his own and apologized when he forgot. 

Also, make sure you laugh together during the process. He tripped over the ottoman you artfully placed? Laugh. You knocked over the precariously balanced pile of books? Laugh. Make new memories. 

Post # 8
Member
1770 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 1997

I would say if you’re thinking this is a step toward marriage/proposal, I would discuss all this before moving in.

Men many times will move in with a woman without any thought of it being a step toward marriage-it’s just more convenient. Women move in sometimes thinking the relationship is escalating.

You may have no thoughts of marriage, don’t know. Just giving ya my 2c. You may deserve change.Smile

Post # 10
Member
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Zephi:  I have the same issue with my couch, I am thinking maybe slip covers and a mattress topper (the foam kind? ) could maybe be used to get some springy-iness back. LOL

Post # 11
Member
259 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@oneofthesethings:  Not sure about separate bedrooms…but definitely the king sized bed 🙂

We became a much happier couple once we got rid of the full size bed. We sleep a lot better with a our two 80lbs dog in it….ugh, I don’t know how we did it before.

Post # 12
Member
5893 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Seriously, separate bathrooms. DH is the neater one , but his bathroom OMG. It’s like the big gapping porcelin hole is just a suggestion of where to aim!

Post # 13
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Zephi:  I would make sure to establish some guidelines before you two move in to make sure the two of you are on the same page. And like PP said, I wouldn’t combine bank accounts or anything else like that unless the two of you are married! I would agree separate bathrooms are helpful and also an extra bedroom in case the two of you have a fight or need some space! 🙂 good luck and congrats on moving in together! 

Post # 14
Member
29 posts
Newbee

Moving in with my man was definitely a wake up call but after browsing through various posts on hear I see that I am definitely with the majority. At first it was fantastic and nothing bothered me too much, I was always just happy to come home to “our” house. 

Once the initial shock and lovey dovey wears a little his annoying habits become more noticable (for me it was picking up after himself). I felt as if I did more of the house work (And I still do btw but I am ok with it now). Just make sure you have realistic expectations and remember that communication is key! If he does something that you truly and justifibly think is unfair to you then speak up. Otherwise just enjoy this new chapter of your relationship and use it to grow closer!

Post # 15
Member
3164 posts
Sugar bee

@BorealisP13:  +1

It is a big adjustment but worth it. FH is so messy, loves to pile things up, always forgets things, does not like to clean, etc. It has been a huge adjustment from living with one other girl and each of us having our own bathrooms.

Post # 16
Member
2376 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Claim a space for your own.  It doesn’t actually need to have a door, but you need to stake out a space that is just yours.  We each have our own space for our times of ‘I love you, but I just need quiet time to myself’.  Once you establish that space, you don’t have to announce that you need your time, and feelings don’t get hurt. 

Pick your fights.  The wet towel on the bed wouldn’t be worth fighting over for me, but for some people it is.  I’d just pick it up and bring it in with mine.  But if you’re going to choose to shut up about it and work around it, then it’s not fair game to bring up later.

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