Post # 1
My and my SO have been planning on moving in together for a while now.
Where I live rents are very high. I live in a studio that costs $1,250 a month, but if it were leased today it would be worth $1,600+ a month. I have a really great deal and I’ve really enjoyed living in my place for the past 3 years.
My SO also has a great deal on rent, he pays about $1,700 for a two bedroom. If his two bedroom were to be rented out today his landlord could easily get $3,000 + for it.
We told his housemate that I was going to move in at the end of January and asked her to leave. She said that was fine, but she would actually like to leave Dec 1st. Since we’re kicking her out we wanted to compromise.
We just found this out today, so I’ll be giving 30 days notice and moving into his place on Dec 15. We’ve been working up to this point but now I’m freaking out. I keep having all these terrible thoughts, what if it doesn’t work out between us and then I’ve gone and lost my cozy studio…I’ll have to go live in the crappy part of town with housemates.
Is this normal? Did anyone else go through this? My SO is a great guy and I’ve been nothing but excited up until this point! I’m totally freaking out.What gives?
Post # 3
I think it’s perfectly natural to be nervous, because it is a change, and you are making a sacrifice by giving up your apartment.
That being said, try to go into it with a positive frame of mind, even if it’s hard. You two obviously care about each other and have talked about this, so it wasn’t a spur of the moment thing. Try to take it one day at a time. At least a two bedroom will give you a little extra room.
Best of luck!
Post # 4
KLC216 Thanks for the reply! You’re right, I need to start thinking about this more positively. I am making a sacrifice, but we’ve thought this out and we’re still getting a good deal!
Post # 5
@waitinginSF: Totally a personal preference, but that’s is one of the many reasons I won’t live with someone before they commit. It takes some of the uncertainty out of a situation where there is tons of uncertainty.
That being said if you’ve made up you mind to do it, see if you can get on the lease so you can’t just be kicked out if worse comes to worse.
Also, congrtulations and I hope it is a blissful experience.
Post # 6
subtlebee thanks for your reply :-). He says he intends to propose sometime soon and he wants to be with me for the rest of our lives, and we’ve gone and looked at rings. Even if I had a ring on my finger I think I’d still worry about it not working out. I guess I fear that we could hate living together and worse case scenario it would cause us to break up. I highly doubt it that will happen. I think everything will turn out fantastic…but you never know!
Good idea about getting on the lease, the only thing is the landlord wont put me on the lease due to rent control laws as I’d be entitled to stay with cheap rent. The landlord most probably can’t wait for my SO to leave the apartment so she can get market rent, she isn’t going to help facilitate anyone staying! We’re planning on living there as long as we can because well be paying A LOT more anywhere else!
Post # 7
@waitinginSF: It is totally normal! I freaked out when I moved in with OH. My heating broke and there was terrible snow for a couple of months before that so I was pretty much living there anyway, but it didn’t stop me worrying! I’m aLso bad with change so hated giving up mylovely house! Keep reminding yourself how much you love him and you will be fine :-)))